Julius Agwu (the Nigerian comedian’s comedian) got me fired up to finally start talking about this topic when I heard him telling a joke at the NTA’s AM Express second anniversary dinner night some weeks ago, about how easy it is to shoot gospel music videos in the East (Igbo land) and how the videos and the music nearly always turn out to be highly substandard. True word! And this substandardness is not helped at all by the fact that many of our songwriters/artist especially those of the non Hip hop and R&B stock just don’t know how to rhyme.

And by the way what do I mean by rhyming in songs? I mean arranging one’s song’s lyrics such that the last word in a line (in Hip hop called “a bar”) has the same sound as the last word in another line, especially the next one. And doing this if you don’t know is the beauty of any poem (most poems sha, cos some don’t rhyme), flow (rap) or song. Especially for songs and rap cos any Tom Dick and Harry can put together a verse talking about his/her feelings but it takes only one with balls (that knows what it takes to be a real musician) to put his verse together with rhymes. Let me put it in another way it’s just the rules from ages past. It’s what shows you have talent. And by cracking one’s brain to discover rhymes and put them so beautifully and smoothly together it builds one’s artistic intellect. So a first step for any aspiring musician is to learn to rhyme once line by line first. With advanced study you’ll probably start rhyming twice line by line. Like Eminem, he’s real good at that.

Check out this single rhyme by Ludacris in the song “Pick up the phone featuring R. Kelly and Tyrese.

Now see I’m just a black man living out a black man’s dream
I went from Popeye’s to eating Flintstone wings
Pouring out alcohol, rolling up green
Playing X-Box on a 100 inch screen

See the single rhymes: dream-wings, green-screen. Now check out these double rhymes. The first from Eminem in his song: “Stan” featuring Dido. And the other from me myself and I: TRAE, in a rap I wrote way back in April 2004 titled: “a pro-50 cry from Sheol”.

I’m sorry I didn’t see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don’t think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what’s this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit’s just clowning dogg, c’mon – how fucked up is you?

Fuck the Grammys, 50’s loss is so uncanny
Fuck the Grammys; I should have listened to my nanny
I should have blazed some Yanni, cos these fools they hate rap hommies
I was like Hip hops Gandhi, but they left me cold and lonely

Now I’m sure you what’s up when I’m screaming that songwriters should learn to rhyme. That’s why I get pissed off by many songs I hear on our TV stations. Benita Okojie’s recent South South advert song is a good example. Admittedly the video was good and she’s got a nice voice and can sing, but that song had no single rhyme in it and man because of that I hated the song out rightly as a work of art. It’s simple I don’t appreciate songs whose lyrics don’t rhymes. On the other hand I’m all thumbs up for Jeremiah Gyang and Six Foot Plus in their song: Nabaka. It’s in Hausa but the lyrics rhymed even Six’s verse where he rapped. And any Nigerian musician will know that rhyming (let alone ordinarily singing without rhymes) in Vernacular with its limited vocabulary is not easy.

Another category of musicians that deserve knocks are the Igbo gospel and Highlife musicians. Cos they have a total disregard for rhyming, even when singing in English. They just sit their ass down and remix popular Christian songs and praise chants. I’m telling you, there ain’t no contemporary gospel song without an Igbo remix. And the worse part of it all is that their voice is terrible (all through the song they’re just shouting) and the production is of very poor standard. Although there have been a few of their rhymeless songs which were pretty pleasant to the ears. And just in case you’re wondering how I know all this it’s from my University days in the East.

So that’s it, we should learn to rhyme in our songs. Even as far back as in the 1930’s American musical films they rhymed. And we’re here in this modern times doing the opposite. Rhyming is a must if you doubt me do a search for any song’s lyrics you like and you’ll see the rhymes. Infact the only non rhyming American song I now is R. Kelly’s: “Heart of a woman”. Even in “Mosh” a political song by Eminem with so much to talk about he still managed to rhyme.

Oh well, I guess that’s it. Hip hop is dying slowly…but watch me revive it, you know eradicate the wackness. Let me show y’all how to kick a rhyme with my Xmas bars. Props to Modenine. I ain’t spit in like months but feel this:

My Xmas bars
Written 24th December 2004

Christmas in the ghetto just ain’t worth shit
Tell Santa Claus he can suck my dick
Waiting on Santa is like waiting on a bitch
Those words are TRU’s now feel my shit
I’ve been there-done that with like all bitch
I’m shitty but still had some down ass chicks
It’s a pity I’m still looking for my core chick
Like Stella, I’m Jaiye is what I for wish
But through all the stress twas good I had friends
Those like my best and well, some who pretend
Those with my set I could call up by ten
And those who got my back from Mon to weekend
Even on the cyber I did pretty well
Gaining comp info like Billy and Dell
My peoples they’re saying my blog is real swell
So fuck economics on IT I dwell
But still it’s important I cop that degree
Cos being redundant is like a disease
My project I’ll sort out and end laxity
Best later than never how bad can it be
So flexing and repping I’ve stepped up my game
Might not be hot stepping but they’re calling my name
And if OBJ ain’t award me he’s lame
At least the DJ will, TRAEman I remain

Two of Nigeria’s best songwriters/rappers: Six Foot Plus and Modenine, with Wyclef Jean (in the middle) during Wyclef’s show in Nigeria.

Nigeria’s own Enyimba of Aba, holders of CAF Champions League trophy want to win it for a second time, and back to back for that matter. The decisive date is Sunday December 12th. It’s the “D” day for the second leg final. And guess what? It’s holding in Abuja. The Aba stadium was banned due to the poor quality of the pitch. Trust Nigeria and maintenance now.

Truly Enyimba have been trying. Kudos to the boys, the fans, the club management and the Abia State government. They really impressed in the first leg, they played some pretty skillful football. At least much better than in some of their previous matches. And since they scored a goal away (they lost 2-1), a one nil home win would be enough to clinch the cup (the away goal rule in international tournaments). Peeps shouldn’t complain too much of hostility in Tunisia. It’s just the fanaticism and passion of the wonderful game of football. After all we should thank our stars for getting a goal…, which looked offside. Etoile deserved their win sha. No thanks to Obinna Nwaneri’s over busy body, which caused us a penalty for their first goal.

Anyway all that is gone. Fans should look forward to the final and go out and cheer Enyimba in full force. We shouldn’t disgrace Naija. Fans should fill the stadium and show the world we got love for our home teams too. If I’m in town by then u bet I’ll be there.

Enyimba celebrate after scoring a goal in the first leg of the CAF Champions League final 2004 away to Etoile Sahel of Tunisia.

In recent times Nigeria has seen all sorts of international music stars (from DMX, Guru, Naughty by Nature, Wyclef Jean, Sean Paul, Shaggy, Ashanti, Eve, Ginuwine, Usher, to Africa’s own Awilo and the late Brenda Fassie) grace the stage at different shows in the country. And Thursday December 1st was no exception as 50 cent (the beef bringer himself. Check out his line from “You Want Beef With Me?”: You want beef with me Take a number and get in line) performed at the Eagle’s Square in Abuja. He was in the country as the Star Mega Jam’s headliner.

In the company of his G-Unit soldiers: Lloyd banks and Young Buck (seems he’s cleared up his police issue with the Dr Dre attempted stabbing shit. Dre day for life niggaz. Now you know where I got “TRAE days” from…smiles), DJ Whookid and a whole lot of other crew members 50 tore up the stage.

And Praises be to God because I witnessed the show live. Though I entered via the apian way…Ah Oga security sorry oh, my bad my bad, one Nigeria! Through out the show 50 sure was in philanthropic mood (you know Hip hop now: money, power, respect!) as he was giving out stuff like his baseball caps, snickers, towel, singlet, jewelry and 500 and 200 Naira notes. I almost copped some goodies myself. But man the stampede and rush was too much. And that wasn’t good cos handsets went missing and a lot of people, girls especially, lost their footwear. The crowd was just too rowdy and not well behaved. Peeps were throwing shoes up in the air and some even aimed at the stage. I guess they were thugging it out in their own way. And the mic wasn’t too good, but the fact that most peeps knew 50’s songs word for word they followed and it was aight. Over all the crowd felt him and the show was great. I could have told ya more but I missed part of the show when I was getting h**d in the toilets…smiles.

You can also read a review of the Abuja show and the one in Lagos (where he performed some/a day later) at http://www.hiphopworldmagazine.com/features.php?detail=46 . He should have also been in Port Harcourt but he had some silly brawl with Eedris Abdulkareem. You can read on the brawl at http://www.hiphopworldmagazine.com/features.php?detail=46, or checkout Eedris’ site to hear his view on the issue. The brawl sure is making the news right now in Naija. Even soccer forumites are digressing and gisting about it.

50 sure is good at live performances but if you ask me I still prefer DMX. The January show he had in Abuja was off the hook. Unlike 50, “X” was a one-man act, with only his DJ supporting him, but man he carried the crowd. Ain’t nobody stoning or booing him, the crowd wasn’t that rowdy (except for some police over-zealousness as they tried to keep the crowd too far away from the stage), they loved him. Performing verse and chorus after verse and chorus from his numerous hits he had the crowd in a frenzy. You know how it is with DMX’ songs. Being the dogg he is his songs are very energetic and inspiring. They tend to push your adrenalin up. I’ll always respect X for that.

Last word: Why can’t the NTA (Nigerian Television Authority) get the right presenters to interview hip-hop acts. What’s with Augusta Maduegbuna of NTA Saturday night live asking for demonstration from 50 Cent instead of a freestyle. She wanted him to stand up, drop his go shorty hook and dance to it. I’m sure 50 must have been like what the fuck? The same shit happened in DMX’s case. Two elderly Northern presenters at NTA plus; who I’m sure don’t know a thing about hip hop were asking him shit, instead of the right questions fans would want to hear. Young presenters with hip hop knowledge should interview hip hop artist. The old folks better chill and look for their fame in other TV programs

Shit I don’t write (raps that is) much these days. But u can read som’en I put down on 50 from back in the day at http://www.africanhiphop.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=1869&highlight=50+loss+uncanny .

50 Cent with Ayo Animashaun (Publisher of Hiphopworldmagazine, “The Source” of Nigeria)

Maybe now ain’t the very right time to blog on DAAR communication’s television station: AIT (Africa Independent Television) and radio station: Ray Power 100.5. Because they ain’t in the news right now nor am I feeling a 100% passion for the topic as I’m writing right now. But anyway what I’m about to talk about has been on my mind for a long time. So it’s best I spill the beans now or never.

If ever the history of radio and television is written in Nigeria…or specifically Abuja, AIT and Ray Power owned by the energetic entrepreneur: Raymond Dokpesi will certainly be mentioned. Because for real those two media outfits did lots to change the lives of Nigerians for the better information wise. From the recent launching of their new Abuja office, AIT and Ray Power have really come a long way. Ray Power came to Abuja sometime in early 1999 and AIT later in the year. Before then man, Abuja residents didn’t know the meaning of choice. Despite being the nation’s capital, Social life in Abuja was fucked. All we had media wise was a dumb old Radio Nigeria AM station specializing in boring Hausa programs and a socially lifeless NTA Channel 5 Abuja. But with the coming of Ray Power and AIT things changed man, big time…for the better. People now began to enjoy and feel the power of music and enjoy entertainment at a first class level. As a caller once said on a program on Ray Power it was like all of a sudden everyone felt proud owning a radio and wanted to blast his/her’s at the loudest level. With them Abuja residents felt more in touch with happenings in their surroundings. It might sound funny now but the concept of phoning in to a radio/TV program (one you’re really enjoying for that matter) and commenting was new then and turning heads all over. Really if truth be told Ray Power was life in 1999 and early 2000 (that’s before their closure). With the hardworking duo of Kenny (Keke) Ogungbe and Dayo (D1) Adeneye (now managing Kennismusic and PrimeTime Africa, formerly known as PrimeTime Jamz) and their wonderful presenters like Steve the sleek Kadiri, Dennis the Menace, Lola, Obiora Ilo – news department, Mitchell Obi and Ejiro Omonode – sports department, a certain presenter (on Ray Power) with a northern name who used to make we stay awake all Sunday nights to listen to his captivating voice etc Ray Power and AIT was going places. And the Ray Power slogan and boast then of being: “Africa’s numero uno” was truly worth it. Then Hip Hop and R&B in Nigeria was just experiencing a rebirth and Ray Power was at the peak of the progress march. Ask musicians like 2face of the Plantashun Boiz, Eedris Abdulkareem, Tony Tetuila etc and they’ll tell you that they owe a lot to Ray power for the start of their careers.

But now things done change. They went through a lot of difficulties. Difficulties like financial squabbles with the NTA (Nigerian Television Authority) over CAN 2000 broadcasting rights, which they lost and cost them a lot of money, closure for quite sometime in 2000 due to inability to pay up debts owned to banks (at a time they were about going international). Which marked the end of their wonderful era as when they came back they lost some of their best staff and couldn’t quite find their footing again. And the burning of their Abuja office in 2001. But despite all these short comings it’s still good to know they are on their feet today. And are still surviving in the present day choked up Abuja TV and radio environment. Life is a struggle and that of DAAR communication’s AIT and Ray Power has been a tough one. Kudos must be given to them for their strong determination and to their audience for supporting and sticking with them.

AIT’s logo

Yep, I feel sort of nerdy cos I just became a Gmail account holder about a week ago. You sure must have heard of Google the search engine giants. And if you’re geeky or interested enough you must have heard about Gmail. It’s their new email service which is receiving rave reviews from Tech heads and critics. But the thing is that Gmail is not yet accessible to the general public, it’s still in testing mode. So those with the privilege of using the service were all invited to sign up based on their nerdiness: frequent users of Blogger, cyber-technology gurus and friends of Google. The good thing is that once you’re a Gmail account holder you can periodically send out invitations to your friends to sign up too. That’s how I signed up, thanks to kayode Muyibi. I got an extra IV from Chippla, gave that one out though. Well to be honest with you I’m still sticking with my Yahoo email. After checking out the services Gmail offers I’m pretty impressed but not impressed enough to treasure it above my Yahoo email. Their reply system is cool and the navigation from page to page is quite fast but their browser compatibility requirements are stricter than Yahoomail, so you can’t access it easily from all systems. Also they ain’t got no virus scanner for attachments, and font enhancement. Plus I hate the way their emails are displayed when you’re reading it (especially those from other email host like Yahoomail). Let’s just see how things go. At least I got Gmail so when tech nerds are running their mouth I can run mine too. If you want a Gmail invitation let me know…so I can send you one when I’m allowed to do so. That should be soon I hope.

Gmail’s logo

That’s a question I just have to ask, especially after watching the South Africa versus Nigeria friendly last week (forget the match scores. We lost 2-1. Our main players didn’t turn up). The atmosphere at the stadium was sure intimidating, cos all around there were fanatic South African fans dressed in their national colours, carrying their national flags and chanting national “shit” (smiles). On the other hand Nigerian fans were few, and those really cheering through out were the supporters club (cos they’re been paid to do so). That’s the problem with Nigerian fans; we’re a little bit too numb and shy about supporting our stars fanatically. I’m telling you man, foreigners show more love to ours stars then we do ourselves. And that ain’t good cos charity should begin at home. Take this for example I’ve been at the National stadium Abuja twice to watch the Eagles play. And one of them times was at the All Africa Games football finals 2003 between Nigeria and Cameroun. Taking a look at the spectators you wouldn’t know if they were there to watch Garki FC take on Wuse FC or Nigeria take on Cameroun, cos very little fans were in national colours, rocking national jerseys or carrying the Nigerian flag. Around me surprisingly the only fans representing Naija were “two white kids” carrying the Nigerian flag, whose parents had brought them to watch the match? Can you believe that? But trust me sha, I was rocking my Aghahowa number 17 jersey. On the real man we need to take a cue from English, South Korean and South African fans on doing the supporter shit. There ain’t no shame in being happy and just losing it. Ask Eminem, he’ll tell you.

South African football fans: now this is good “fanship” (smiles)

Straight up man, ain’t no beating about the bush, I’m saying it point blank: “The curfew in my Alma-Mater UNN (University of Nigeria Nsukka) has outlived its usefulness. It’s common practice for curfews to be imposed in communities during periods of social unrest. But the present one going on in UNN that started around mid 2003 has proved to be inefficacious. In other words useless. Far from what it aimed to do (curb cultism, violence, assassinations, theft, rape etc), it has become instead a means of killing social life on campus and what more the Nsukka economy.

The curfew was originally between the hours of 10pm and 5am. But with the coming of a new Vice Chancellor it was extended to start from 9pm. And also commercial motorcycle riders were barred from operating on campus premises after 8pm.

But facts on ground show that theft and violence etc have hardly gone down since the curfew was imposed. Towards the end of last session (August and September 2004) handset theft was the in-thing. Daily we would hear of compounds off-campus where students reside being raided by men of the underworld with extraction of handsets being the main aim and at times rape. Even our own Zik flats’ E-Block (which is right next to a security post!) was not spared as they were struck twice! And the most annoying thing is that these crimes were committed during curfew hours when every body was supposed to be in doors with “the efficient” campus security holding security tight outside.

In reality every one knows the university is not safe. Our security system is fucked up. It’s just full of old security men who are highly under armed and use old-fashioned ways to carry out law enforcement. Even the police and army officials on duty around campus premises pay greater attention to extracting 20 Naira notes from commercial drivers/riders than checking vehicles or questioning possible criminals. It’s sad to know but in truth any smart crook can easily wreck havoc on campus and go scot-free.

What then is the usefulness of the curfew when with or without it crimes still go on? It has only succeeded in punishing students as their social life has been reduced to zero. With the curfew social activity on campus can’t extend beyond 9pm and hence we saw the period of afternoon shows and Departmental “afternoons-nites” in campus in the 2001/2002 session and 2002/2003 session (between 2003 and 2004). What do you expect when shows are rushed so as to meet with the 9pm deadline? Low quality and chaos of course. And so fun seekers are left under entertained and shortchanged. Ask Spez and EldRichie, organizers of the supposed “Julius Agwu and Klint the drunkard featured” show last session how much they lost financially due to the curfew shit. Life on campus, which should be a social hot spot, is left looking like a prison yard. Gone are the days of enjoyable (birthday) parties, all night shows and bonfires. As early as 8.30pm everywhere is quiet.

In my 1st and 2nd years in UNN (2000-2002) commercial activities in and around Zik flats boomed till 12pm and even beyond. One felt free living in Nsukka as a student. But now from behind flats to the SUG building area the campus is fucked up socially. Look at Jives; it’s a shadow of its former self. I wonder how the owner survives financially. What more, the inability to flag down a bike after 8pm creates unnecessary hardship and even the chance of rape for female students. Especially if a person is carrying a load and/or is going a far distance say from Zik flats to Isa-Kaita hall.

After looking at things critically I feel it’s in the best interest of students, staff and the UNN community at large if the Vice Chancellor calls an end to the curfew. There are by far better ways to curb crime on campus (like beefing up and modernizing our campus security system) than imposing a curfew, which only succeeds in killing social life and economic activity in and around UNN.

the main gate of UNN. Rugged isn’t it?

Naira (Nigeria’s currency) spraying/money spraying/Naira shower/Naira rain for those who don’t know is the spraying of money on people. At times physically stuck to their bodies or just thrown at them joyously to create a sort of currency note rainfall. In Nigeria with globalization and the use of currency notes Naira spraying has become part of the culture. And it’s usually exhibited at celebrations

While I’m all of a sudden crazy about it, is because I attended a traditional wedding ceremony recently in Nsukka. And man the Naira spraying shit sure made me smile and laugh. Man in reality it was the high point of the celebrations. You know on one hand the High Life band engrossed their self in serious praise singing. And in return were showered with currency notes by the young businessmen in attendance. On the other hand there was a traditional dance group. Whose lead dancer a little girl of about seven years won the hearts of the crowd with her wonderful dance steps. She too was Naira bathed. And not to forget the wedded couple and the bride’s mother, whose graceful dance steps kept money falling down from the sky like a hailstorm.

Man the wedding sure was fun. And I tell you had there being no Naira shower but just straight up wedding shit, the ceremony would have been damn boring. I guess that’s just the way things are in Igbo society. It’s always a delight to see friends of those being sprayed bending down to pick up the notes, and onlookers swiftly joining in (but always being chased away) to partake in the loot. Also there’ll be people looking to change their higher denominational notes into smaller ones to carry on with the spraying. But what makes me laugh most is when you see poor old men who ordinarily would not shower anybody, picking up showered notes and doing the same with an air of arrogance. Damn life in the village sure is fun. And with all the spraying involved I can tell that broke ass young men don’t come to the village for celebrations and at festive seasons. It’s about the cheddar down there. Money gets things running you know.

money being sprayed on a dancing couple at an Igbo traditional wedding ceremony

I grew up imbibing the notion that the Nigerian society is highly corrupt. A fact which I was made to understand can be seen in her rankings by Transparency International which on a yearly basis shows her as one of the top three corrupt nations in the world. And really from my experience, Nigeria is corruption sick. A plague not helped at all by our police officers.

While I was a student in the University of Nigeria Nsukka I witnessed police corruption at first hand. It was a usual sight on a daily basis to see police men (and even the military) working along the main roads surrounding the university, on the way to the Nsukka market and virtually at every check point in the Nsukka rural township, stopping motorcycle riders and commercial motor drivers to collect a mandatory #20. This became a tradition in replacement for checking of vehicle particulars and general vehicle checking. At midday and at 6pm they would switch posts to be able to get new victims. As the law was #20 a day to the policemen at every check point, when a new “regime” came in you had to do the same. So commercial riders and drivers ended up parting with #60 a day at every police point. And being they passed at least two check points everyday, along with the financial burden of vehicle maintenance in a bad-road ridden Nsukka and daily Transport Union dues they had to pay, you can know how much expenses/losses they incurred in a day. This was blatant corruption and my heart could not but go out to them (the commercial vehicle operators).

But on the other hand I think I don’t blame the policemen too much. It might be because I’ll very soon be a new entrant into the Nigerian labour market (being a fresh graduate) and I’m beginning to think as a worker. And knowing the labour market for what it is: harsh and highly competitive with few jobs, poor salaries in relation to the high cost of living, I get amazed when I think of how suffering Nigerians get through life. For a start how much are the policemen paid? Those at the check points on the lowest levels, probably about #30,000 a month. And can that cater for a person independently? Definitely not. In one’s early life in the labour market one needs back up. A parent, relation or Godfather to fall back on. At least primarily for accommodation and feeding. Even the higher level policemen, they’ll likely have a family to cater for. And with their meager salary I wonder how they manage. So sometimes I just feel they deserve at least the money they make from their unlawful activities. What, with the laborious job of standing in the sun. Uhm, life is hard and anyhow, any which ways man must survive. What do you think?

A commercial driver slipping a bribe to a policeman

It ain’t getting it while it’s hot; I’m talking of shooting it while it’s hot. And precisely I mean music videos. I’ve come to realize that many Nigerian music artists don’t have the sense to shoot videos for their chart topping song when they should do so. And it seems this problem is mainly with ABJ (Abuja) based artists. I got the idea to blog on this when I watched the Styl-Plus video for ”Run away” this morning on NTA. “Run away” has been making waves in Nigeria, along with “Olufunmi” right from late 2003 when it was released, but it’s only now in late 2004 that the boys of Styl-Plus thought it wise to release the video, damn. Right now I’m sort of getting sick of “Olufunmi” as is normal with anything which becomes over popular. When “Run away” was blazing fresh and hot, we begged, pleaded and hoped in vain for a video. Which if it had come out then would have made a massive impact in popularizing Styl-Plus, and to a very large extent popularizing them internationally. In the US it’s common practice for hit songs to get their video’s shot within a month of their blazing the charts. And we all know that Television gets the message across where Radio is limited. Nigerian artist better learn from this if they want to reap maximum profit and popularity for their sweat. A case in study is Age Beeka. He’s an ABJ based R&B/Soul artist. Man I love his songs “Girl of my dreams” and “Angelica” to death. But alas our friend never shot a video for them while they were blazing hot. Nowadays I don’t hear about him that much on the radio, talk less of on the TV.

Another aspect of shooting videos is shooting videos for the right singles. And in my opinion US artist are most guilty. For example why the fuck did Snoop Dogg shoot a video for “from tha chuuuch to da palace” when there are by far many better videoless songs on his “paid tha cost to be da boss” album. Tracks like “Lollipop”, “Wasn’t Your Fault”, “I miss that bitch”, “I Believe in You” and “From Long Beach 2 Brick City” if they had had videos would have done more to promote his album than “from tha chuuuch to da palace”.

A picture from a rap video shoot.