Before you read this post you better go listen to Wyclef Jean’s song “perfect gentleman”…or well you could manage with reading the lyrics. Cos all I’m going to say here is in line with Wyclef’s message in that song.

The novel “Merchants of flesh” by Ifeoma Chinwuba is the second prerequisite for grabbing my take on prostitution. I’ve been getting my novel reading groove back on of recent and my reading of this book is cos it’s a recommended text in a course My mum’s doing for her degree in English. It’s a real good book; the author sure is talented in writing and must have had a lot of knowledge on the going-ons in the sex trade by Nigerians in Italy. The book was sponsored by WOTCLEF and you can buy it at the Spectrum book’s site. Together with Wyclef’s “Perfect gentleman” my take/stand on prostitution is formed. A stand you’ll know about as you read on.

Prostitution ain’t a good thing. The sex trade is degrading and hazardous for the prostitute themselves, for society’s health and for family-unity. And no one would love his relative to be a prostitute/sex worker/call girl. But the truth of the matter is that prostitution as a profession has come to stay and a lot of guys can’t do without the services call girls render…So ladies do what you gotta do to keep your man hooked on you. May be you’ll get a brain wave from Missy Elliot’s song “Pussycat” featuring Tweet. Ha-ha, but on a serious note AIDS is real. So guys are advised to shun promiscuity or strap their shit up tight (condoms).

On the real guys should avoid promiscuity cos it’s like drugs or excessive drinking. Once you form the habit and get hooked it’s very hard to stop. I got friends that are into that shit so I guess I’m talking authoritatively. I ain’t saying I’ve patronized prostitutes before or not, but note that your brother, boyfriend, husband or son could be visiting that red light district on a regular and you wouldn’t even know. We all men, we’re hooked to that sticky yicky, after all PMAN president Charly Boy said in one of his numerous interviews that he was disvirgined by a prostitute. It’s a pity but it’s true that in our generation with all the influences from the western world and the aggressive media sex based stuff we digest we have become so sex conscious and promiscuous. “Fortunately” anyway we youths ain’t so open minded about sex or very sexually active like our Western counterparts. But “unfortunately” however patronizing prostitutes serves as a resolve for those sex freaks amongst us to relieve themselves secretly and maintain sanity outwardly in a conservative culture. And still pitifully many a times we men allow our dicks to control us. Take my friend for example, she’s as fine as hell and is doing her National Youth Service in Abuja. The result is that she’s getting a big stash of complimentary cards on the regular…everyday. And that’s cos Abuja made-men (most with families, girlfriends or fiancées I guess) can’t keep their eyes of her.

Anyway your morality is an issue between you and your God…but I’ll advise we keep it positive always. God be with you this Easter and good luck to our Super Eagles as we face Gabon today in Port Harcourt.

The “Merchants of flesh” book cover. It can be bought at: http://spectrumbooksonline.com/cgi-bin/cart.pl?ac=show&id=423

You know I’ve being writing a lot of prose (posting on internet forums and my blog) and reading a lot of novels of recent. So i decided to create my own literature…poetry. I put pen to paper and created the lines you see below. It’s sort of a back and forth between my conscience and I on the subject of love. I like it a lot although I think it’s kinda short. I should have spent more time lengthening it, but where’s the time??? Anyway I was tired of love poem writing and all that emotional literature bullshit (I ain’t LL Cool J you know). Besides I ain’t seem to have ever written one for the right person in the past. Funny hey?

A cypher with my conscience
Written 8th March, 2005

Inspired by the song “Guilty conscience” performed by Eminem featuring Dr Dre

TRAE
You’re all that I need to get by in my life
Methodman and Mary B, that’s how I feel now I write
Cos I’m tripping really big, you’re like the girl of my dreams
I need a dealing with cupid; I just want you on my team
Conscience
But hold on, wait a minute, relax what’s the rush
Every time you see a mini on an ass you start to lust
You’re in soup can’t you see it, your mates have caught the bus
Going to service up in Benin, but you it’s ass and bust
TRAE
Come on man, don’t be hating because I got a crush
What the fuck, what’am’I saying, it’s love and so I floss
It’s like I’ve met the perfect queen, be mine she must
Put away the bad habits and the flings, my guts I trust
Conscience
Ok go ahead with your thing, you’re fucking nuts!
Instead of hustling and the graduating it’s Maura Dust
Or is it Dawn, man you’re stupidly dumb, you take some rum?
Messing up cos you’ve got the freedom, you’ll soon be done
TRAE
Whatever man…

End notes

Cypher: The dictionary meaning of cipher (also spelt cypher…especially in Hip hop) is a secret way of writing, especially one in which a set of letters or symbols is used to represent others. And this secret writing can only be deciphered by those with the key. Likewise to gain entrance into a Hip Hop Cypher you got to live and breathe the culture, the key. Thus in popular Hip hop parlance, a cypher is a circle of MCs (microphone checkers/rappers) congregating, concentrating and consecrating language. That is, a group of headz (Hip hop heads/conscious individuals, Jacked from heads of states) lounging usually in a circular formation, enjoined in rhythm and love of the craft spitting lyrics to show and prove skills.

Methodman and Mary B: A reference to Method Man and Mary J. Blige, who together earned a best rap performance by duo or group Grammy in 1995 for “I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need To Get By”.

Going to service up in Benin: A reference to the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC). The NYSC 2005/2006 batch A (which I should have been a part of) started on March 10th. In the NYSC, graduates from Nigerian Universities are posted to states all over the country other than their states of origin. E.g. to Benin (Edo), Oyo, Sokoto etc.

Maura Dust or is it Dawn: A reference to Maura Dawn, some chick I be crazy about.

Now that I’ve got you all Hip hop you might want to check my man Big Faz’s site out: www.bigfazrecords.tk. You’ll see some crazy pictures of Wuse Zone 6 Abuja there. Or as he calls it, his projects. Ghetto hood…neighbourhood.

a still photo from the video of Eminem’s Guilty conscience

What’s this overnight celebrity thing? You’re wondering hey? Well I Just won an e-zine (online magazine…”e”-zine) competition and I’m feeling very pleased with my self. Well actually I won the competition over a week ago, but I was just interviewed on my win and it’s in the latest edition of the e-zine. And that’s the source of my present joy. You know it’s like the rapper Twista said: surprisingly becoming a celebrity and all of a sudden granting interviews. Whatever man I ain’t tripping cos I know I’m far from a celebrity. But the novelty of being interviewed that’s new and real cool. For answering five GSM based questions I won an MTN #750 recharge card. And I guess it’s like my only ever lottery or competition win. Lord knows I’ve been dreaming big about winning one of the numerous mouth watering lotteries/competitions going on in the country. And I guess this is only a first step. Who no like awoof sef? E dey run belle no be small. Anyway enjoy the full interview below jare.

================================================
INTERVIEW WITH GSM QUIZ COMPETITION WINNER: TRAE
================================================

CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING OUR GSM QUIZ.
HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU READ IN THE EMAIL
THAT YOU HAD WON?

I felt happy naturally, but some how i expected i’ld win.
Cos i acted fast in suppling the answers and they were
all correct.

DID YOU ANSWER THE QUESTIONS OFF-YOUR HEAD OR DID YOU DO
A LITTLE RESEARCH?

To be honest with you man i owe my success to google…
and of course my personal interest in GSM matters and my
natural inquisitiveness habit. I researched on all the
questions with google.

THE QUESTION ON THE MEANING OF “MTN” KNOCKED PEOPLE OFF.
MOST SAID MOBILE “TELECOMMUNICATIONS” NETWORK. HOW DID
YOU GET IT?

As i said i googled it all up! But it took quite some
time to get the answer though.

HOW DO YOU KEEP YOURSELF INFORMED ON CURRENT TRENDS IN GSM?

Well on the internet i rely on your newsletter and the
mobilenigeria site almost 99%. Besides that i read the
papers, listen to the radio and watch the news.

AND FINALLY, HOW DID YOU SPEND THE FREE AIRTIME?

Texting, flashing and more texting.
Made a few calls though.

Interview in session; Listen and learn a thing or two. Lord knows I’ll be granting many more interviews in future (smiles).

Yep, putting what I was saying in this post’ subject in lay man terms I’ve decided to stop being a subscriber to the MTN network and have bought a Glo (Globacom) line instead. And you know why? Well being a celebrity, Paris Hilton made me change my number! Ha-ha, just kidding. On the real it’s funny how public…Internet opinion makes one changes his/her opinion on a particular issue. In my case the Internet opinion was from www.mobilenigeria.com , a Nigerian GSM discussion forum where I’m a member. On the forum we GSM freaks discuss and exchange ideas on the Nigerian GSM market. And learning about the new Globacom 35 free Glo to Glo text per promotion from the site I was finally convinced to ditch MTN for Glo. Let’s face it save for their wide coverage, MTN sucks. They’re the most expensive network and history shows that they’ve hardly done any thing at anytime substantial to decrease their tariffs. In fact am a go ahead and give y’all seven good reasons to Glo as you go/and not fuck with Y’hello/.

1) They have much cheaper tariffs than MTN. on the Glo network it’s 70k on per second billing to call Glo lines and 80k for other networks. As against MTN’s 80k irrespective. It’s also #7.50k to send text to Glo lines and #15 to other networks. As against MTN’s #15 irrespective.
2) Their recharge cards are affordable with longer access days/validity and easy to get unlike MTN. Glo has recharge cards of #500 and #1000 with 5 and 10 days access days which are widely available in the market. MTN on the other hand has #750 and #1500 recharge cards with 5 and 15 days validity respectively. Even their so called affordable #400 virtual top up airtime is very scarce in the market and has a validity of only 4 days. To compound problems the #750 and #400 airtime sells for #800 and #450 respectively in the market. That if you ask me is open exploitation.
3) They the most advanced network in Nigeria. They got the GPRS, WAP and MMS (something very common and indispensable abroad, it’s still catching up here sha) thing, which MTN doesn’t have. As the experts say they got a 2.5G network while other networks operate 2G networks.
4) They allow you to send 35 free Glo to Glo text per month. Something MTN can never dream of cos they’re the greedy network type. Like coolapostle said MTN = (M)ilk (T)hose (N)igerians!
5) Calling customer care on Glo is much easier than on MTN. And they only charge you #20 no matter the length of the call. Now tell me which network cares about their customer’s satisfaction more.
6) Glo doesn’t disturb you when your credit/access days (validity) is about to expire as much as MTN does by telling you to please top up your account as if you don’t already know. They’re like some cyber cafe’s timer software. they disturb you when it’s about to finish but not all the way till it completely finishes.
7) Glo tells you your validity/access days straight up (when checking your credit balance with #124#) unlike MTN which charges you to do so (by calling 556) or puts you through a rigorous process to do so (texting “8″ to “131″, it’s free of charge though).

What more can I say. Glo is the shit and MTN are clearly not performing. MTN only started the per second billing after Globacom brought the competition to them.

Now I’m beginning to feel like them Firefox loyalists who despise Microsoft and are highly anti Internet Explorer. It’s like I’m supporting the better company against the more popular but greedy and less efficient company. Ha-ha, whatever. I guess Glo have finally got me like they planned to do on their ongoing promotional tour of leading Nigerian universities. Shit I’m regretting why I wasn’t on campus for the show, I heard it was lots of fun and Ruggedman (Ehen!, Peace or war, Baraje. Big bros and Oh oh are definate hits. Nice skits too. Rest of the album ain’t too impressive) was on stage. Anyway the good thing is that Glo’s now in Nsukka and being that they’re also in my villa and of course Abuja (the three places I’m mostly at) my switch to them is all the more wise. I ain’t gotta worry about MTN now. I guess what I’m about to do ain’t so advisable security wise but am a do it anyway. Here’s my new Glo number: 08057058033 (+2348057058033), and my MTN is 08036135788 (+2348036135788). Although the best bet on reaching me these days is to holla at my Glo. Nice numbers hey?

it’s no more get Firefox and fuck Internet Explorer, it’s now get Glo cos MTN is a no show!