“I’m losing my religion”. I first heard that phrase when I listened to Tupac’s verse on “2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted”, a song on which he featured Snoop Dogg. And I feel it perfectly explains my situation. I’m losing my religion. I’m not atheist and I guess I do believe in God, but I’m really slacking in prayers, other religious stuff and I’m not going to church much these days. It’s kind of like I’m not feeling God or the whole concept of religion. I’m still good though and try to keep all my thoughts, actions and words positive. I went to a seminary secondary school and got elementarily schooled in the ways of the priesthood. I was active in church activities, specifically mass serving for a long time. A few of my mates, all things being equal should be priest in the next four years. But as one grows older and wiser in the ways of the world, the whole religion concept becomes harder to believe in or follow whole heartedly. Education teaches you to believe and trust in the empirical. Religion stuff based on faith becomes really hard. You start questioning religious stands on some stuff which they believe is bad for you but which you are comfortable with as they harm no one directly. Such stuff includes fornication, swearing-foul language, secular music, smoking, drinking, sexual-intimate dancing, materialism to an extent and some fashion trends. Religion…prayer…Bible reading ain’t easy, cos it’s based on faith. Faith in something which you can’t physically see and rewards from which are not instant. It’s kind of like trusting in an unknown. The talk about heaven, hell, purgatory and life after death is one big unknown. Nobody ever came back from the dead to recount his experiences. So present practices or assumptions about what people should do to get the best out of life after death, is as a result of thousands of years of human thinking and assumptions. Just like law is different from morality, goodness is different from religion. One can still be a good human outside the religious context. We humans naturally are emotional and are prone to deifying people. We like to have role models among our own kind, many times to our own detriment. E.g. many of our religious leaders who are in fact mere mortals like us. I don’t really blame many learned people out there who though not atheist are not into any particular religion. Nor do I blame those who diss religion as Fela did in “Shuffering and Shmiling”, as our religious leaders do have their own faults. I’m certainly not anti-religion. There’s good evidence to be religious. There are miracles, there are testimonies, the Bible is a master piece still relevant in today’s world, there’s Christian history and tradition stuff evident/visible in places like Rome and Israel, and religion does keep society orderly, it makes people friendly towards each other. I also really do admire young people like Ebele a.k.a. melody_me, who despite the temptations of this world still seek God and aspire towards holiness.

In summary I believe in keeping it positive. I do good things cos it’s good to be good; karma exist. I do believe in God but unfortunately I’m really low on religion stuff. Guys please pray for me that some day I’ll start feeling religion again. Here’s a poem I wrote about two years ago. Though I’ve gotten over some of the issues I wrote about, others still relate to my present state. Enjoy it sha. Peace!

Negative TRAE: The devil in me
Completed 12th December, 2003

Wrote the first four lines as far back as June 2003, but revised and completed it in December 2003 to reflect what was on my mind at that time.

A.D.I.D.A.S., is my mode right now
Fucked up class, but still I won’t pipe down
Gotten so ras, creeping all over town
Yawa go gas, I need Jehovah now
It’s like Nas said, I’m a sex crazed bastard
A popular thug, I could be AIDS ravaged faster
I break honey’s hearts, then go back to fuck a hoe
Or I jerk off in the bath, God damn, my morals are low
When it comes to the money, I’m loose, from trees it grows?
This shit sure ain’t funny, cos soon I’ll end up broke
I’ll soon be on my own, a man, how will I cope?
When I’m still fucking known, for stealing my father’s notes
I can’t study right, low drive, I wanna flex
It’s not that I ain’t bright, but shit is on my neck
Turning me to a flunk, a junk, one of the best
And so I’ll graduate so dumb, what happens next?
I’m loosing my religion like Pac, I’m out of track
Before I know I’m right back, with Sat’ making contact
But now never again like Ja, will I go back
But still I always fail, my guy, what do I lack?

* Yawa go gas = Nigerian Pidgin English for a problem will occur

Inspired by the songs:
1) A.D.I.D.A.S. – killer Mike ft. Big Boi and Sleepy Brown
(ADIDAS means All Day I Dream About Sex)
2) Popular Thug – kelis ft. Nas
3) 2 of Amerikaz most wanted- Tupac Amaru Shakur ft. Snoop Dogg
4) Never again – Ja Rule
5) Why – Da Band

The creation of Adam painting by Michelangelo…are you feeling God?

Yeah hommie, this is TRAE’s party, club or dance music theory. It’s good stuff for you to read before you start making that club banger or hit track you’ve been dreaming about. I’m sick of seeing young cats who wanna get into the game and the first thing on their mind is a party track. And when eventually they record, it turns out wack. When I hear such stuff on radio or listen to them peeps’ demo/CD privately I feel like puking. These young cats wanna rap without knowing the basics. And thus their songs lack the basic techniques of elocution, rhyme patterning, breath control and lyrics. Party track stuff ain’t bad per se but when it flops it’s a double flop (it sucks times two) and when it’s nice it’s really nice. It’s a case of two extremes. There’s no in between. When done well you get stuff like “tongolo” by D’Banj, “ewajo” by JJC and The 419 Squad, “nothing dey happen” by pherowshuz, “bizzy body” by P-Square and “marry” by Nico Gravity. The stuff about party music is if you don’t get the beat and the chorus/hook right, the song on the whole turns out to be pure garbage. And won’t be worth listening to; talk less of stepping or dancing to. Many guys fail in this aspect. They get the beat and chorus wrong and their lyrics are often lame and sound stale/banal. Their songs are full of; shake your ass, shake that ass, back it up, shake what your mama gave you, back that ass up, shake body-nyash-ikebe, move from side to side, baraje, scatter nyash, ewajo, let’s party, lets get down, move your body etc chants. Don’t get me wrong, these party phrases ain’t bad, I aint gay. But when used in a bad song they sound stale or banal. But use them in a nice party song and you’ll see yourself loving every syllable of it. Eminem hardly ever does party tracks yet he’s one of the greatest rappers of all time. There are a million and one themes (like in American films) to rap/sing about. Songs mustn’t always be for clubbing, partying or dancing or about dance floor stuff. And even when they are for the clubs their lyrics mustn’t always be about clubbing. You could be spitting political on a funky beat and you get a song good to go for the clubs.

Big ups to Cosmo FM 105.5, an A class radio station in Enugu. (I guess I was wrong in my thought that A class radio stations…which are often always privately owned, existed only in Abuja and Lagos). They’re a very local/upcoming artist friendly station making waves in and around the East. Young artists; Massai, Resonance and Slo Dogg; who have been affected by them positively, promotion and publicity wise readily come to mind now. Cosmo FM helps me get by whenever I’m in Enugu. It’s funny but I’ve been here on campus in Enugu for close to two months now without hitting ABJ. Anyway I guess a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Modenine in the studio along with Jamix and Tonedeaf records CEO San Shawn editing “barbed wire” by Modenine and OD. Make sure you do all your home work before spending that money in the studio.

Have you ever been damn broke and down to your last kobo? Well I was constantly in and out of that situation recently. I was a broke ass nigga for sure and man it wasn’t funny. But I guess it was a good lesson in life; cos I’m usually not the prudent type when it comes to managing stuff but now to some extent I am. I was really stressing that I had to limit my non-food related spending, hanging out with girls and stuff of the social type in general. Cos man I couldn’t even buy mami a drink if the need arose. It could be financial suicide! Naturally I despise begging/borrowing/hustling for free stuff cos at times it can be really degrading. But I had no options; I just had to reach out to my fellas for help. It was that bad that I was hitting my Uncles in town real frequently to get that free grub. And my Moms who can be difficult at times ain’t help the situation out much. She thinks when I ask for money it should be mainly about feeding. I guess TRAE’s an animal who just all about feeding and sleeping, ha-ha. But on the real I need to stand on my own two feet as a man pretty soon. Yet upon all this any little dough I got was spent going online. As rappers would say “TV/The Game/Hip hop needs them”. In my case the internet needs me; I had to get my ass online man. Ha-ha.

empty pockets. nobody wants to be a broke ass nigga

Fuck all that, I’m still eager for Naija to qualify for the World Cup. The Greatest sports tournament (after the Olympics) in the world! And that’s through the African World Cup qualifiers. Actually it’s a joint World Cup and African Cup of Nations qualifier. The scenario was real Interesting this weekend and I savoured it all. I watched three games. South Africa’s flop away to Burkina Faso, Côte d’Ivoire cracker with Cameroon and Nigeria’s superb victory over Algeria. There are five groups in the African qualifiers and the winner of each group books a World Cup ticket. So far no team has qualified from Africa for the World Cup. They all gots to chill till the last round of matches in the first weekend of October before a winner is decided. Mathematically, those that stand a chance of booking a World Cup ticket are Togo or Senegal in group 1, Ghana and DR Congo in group 2, Cameroon or Côte d’Ivoire in group 3, Angola, Nigeria or Zimbabwe in group 4, and Tunisia or Morocco in group 5. For Nigeria, our destiny is no more in our hands. We gotta do our best in our final game at home to Zimbabwe and Pray Angola slip up away to Rwanda. Nevertheless we did superlatively well away to Algeria yesterday; we beat them 5-2. We (Super Eagles’ Team A) haven’t scored that many goals in a match in a very long time. From the game I made some observations. Eguavon’s a pretty good coach. He sure looks in charge of the team selection wise. Martins is now undoubtedly our number one striker, the boy’s simply good…that sure is some competition for Aghahowa when he’s back. And I take back my Kanu dis. He might be a bench warmer at his club but as a sub in an Eagle’s shirt he sure knows how to turn things around.

Also I take back my Play Station 2 (PS2) soccer dis in one of my former posts. I’ve been playing a few soccer games on PS2 recently and man the game ain’t bad at all. The graphics are neat (it makes the game look so much more real) and the stats as well. Plus the mobility of the players is actually good. Thumbs up to the PS2 makers. Damn, I hope say I no be Johnny just come cos i heard PS3’s already in the offing.

Inter Milan and Nigeria’s ObaGOAL! (Obafemi Martins) after one of his goals against Algeria