Some months back peeps were blogging about the qualities they want in their ideal man/woman while all I did was observe. But what the fuck here’s my own list. Note that it’s all just dreams, in reality we’re bound to compromise.

1) My ideal girl must be a “soji” babe…sharp, intelligent…she has got to have brains. But on the other hand she should have a great sense of humour. You know be the fun loving, friendly, dramaless and laid back type.

2) Sharing the same interests with me would be a big plus. Most importantly would be my music interest/taste. I don’t want to be getting blown off my hip hop, rock, traditional or slow jamz while she’s getting high off “aka nchawa” (an Igbo gospel song).

3) I’m also on that emotional shit. My girl must be romantic, she must pamper me, she must be a sex bomb and she must be my down ass chick who’ll be there for me 24-7.

4) I like my girls chubby, cute and sexy (sort of thick). You know the bigger (in size) the better (in the right places). But not fat oh! Paris Hilton skinny is definitely a no-no.

5) Many girls like their men tall. But if your idea of a couple is the girl as short as Jada Pinkett Smith and the man as tall as Will Smith than hell no. I want my girl to be almost as tall as me so I can kiss her with ease. Besides it’s cuter that way.

6) I’m not religion obsessed…specific. As far as she’s positive minded it’s ok with me. I’m also not tribe or race specific.

7) Age wise I’ll not want to be older than my girl by more than five years. But if she’s older, at most by two years. That way she’ll be more of a pal/buddy to me.

I like ’em black, white, Puerto Rican or Haitian/Japanese, Chinese or even Asian

It’s not just girls that are crazy about kids, yours truly dreams about having kids! In the Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfieffer film “the story of us” the guy with the patriotic orgasm favourite line was “God bless America, God bless America”. Me! My favourite line at the moment is “I want you to have my baby”. If well deployed in the course of putting your bid in or hitting it it’s a knockout. But I ain’t going old school like our parents, I ain’t raising no football team. Two or three would be just fine. But if by the time I’m 35 I’m unmarried and girlfriendless I’m going the Michael Jackson route and finding me a surrogate. Departing this world childless ain’t in my plans; I want to raise me a little man/lady.

This might not go down well with my friends but at times I find the whole Arsenal, Barcelona, Man U, Chelsea, Liverpool, Juventus for life thing very irritating. Especially when coming from Nigerians based in Naija who don’t know the half about the team they claim to support. The only team I give a damn about are my darling Super Eagles. Yes oh, in the last six years I’ve hardly missed a grade A Super Eagles match. But being that we won’t be at Germany I’m giving my heart to the Carthage Eagles of Tunisia. The players, the coach, the team play, the jersey…damn. Tunisia is the team for me at next months WorldCup. Good luck to the other African teams.

Third term, tenure elongation…omo I don tire for the issue, dwelling on it just leaves me angry. So I’ve taken the siddon look approach. Part of which included watching the live transmission of its debate in the House of Reps on Wednesday (May 10th). I must say it’s been very interesting and entertaining. In my opinion laugh, fun and health wise being a legislator is far better than holding an executive post e.g. governor. Experiencing the communal feeling in the house is a thing to die for, it’s like you’re back in the university lecture hall with your course mates, this time your honourable colleagues from different parts of the country kicking convo back and forth on issues of common importance. Each rep is given about five minutes to state his stand on the constitutional amendment. Most of the speeches have been powerful, sensible and in some cases funny. There’ve have been a few boring ones. During and after each speech there are cheers, claps and boos depending on the camp of the speaker. I must say the better arguments have been from the anti-third term camp. From my calculations they’re also in the majority, so there’s hope.

Obasanjo: An exit strategy By Reuben Abati

We say it’s third term agenda, they say its tenure elongation/
Naija we know is tender, it could have grave implications/
But when you’re power drunk you could do anything for an extension/
A double dose of funk and you’re indispensable to the nation/
The sycophants will hail you, go for three not just a pale two/
A close look at the AU, Museveni is the way to (way to go)/
But wise men still will tell you, leave when ovation is the loudest/
Cos when the shit don fell through, history’ll say that you lacked soundness/

How do i get this third term now, how?

Two days back Ore was talking about information overload well for me I think it’s definitely music overload. I mean everybody’s dropping dope tracks. Dare Art-Alade (I can so relate with his “escalade” song…the things we do for girls. On the other hand my friend told me: “o boy kill the love shit, make your money first, the girls will always be there. It’s kind of true considering the fact that there’s no romance without finance), El Dee, Sound Sultan, Paul Play Dairo etc. So who are we going to listen to? The funny thing is that despite all this popularity most of our artists barely manage to survive. It’s hard out here for a pimp…I mean for Nigerian musicians. And it’s all because we ain’t got the super rich and powerful record companies over here. In the States if you’ve got talent you’re signed (or if it’s mass appeal you’re still signed but provided with ghost writers). They’ll hit you with more money than you can spend; all you now have to do is concentrate on the music. They’ll take care of the rest: promotion, sales, welfare etc. but in Naija in most cases one person is the artist, manager, promoter, distributor at the same time. You’re survival depends on the number of shows you can rock. The ones who make it big have tight schedules: Lagos today, Abuja tomorrow, Port Harcourt at the weekend and a tour of the States or Europe to perform at that big Nigerian function next week. You’re seeing 2face, Styl Plus and PSquare everywhere abi? They’re the privileged few.

Since it’s all about me/I just bought me a V/this is TRAE to the zee/phone number number three/. That’s the text I sent out to some of my peeps to tell em I just got a V-Mobile line. Glo hooked me with their sms, V-Mobile with their voicemail, MTN with their…i don’t know. It was the only option as at the time I bought it. It’s gone now though. Least I forget our favourite GSM e-zine is back! More power to Sagai J. Adam.

It’s really kind of funny the hatred some people can have for you. If I was a Nigerian politician I’d say my life is in danger as the dynamic duo of Nubiansoul and Sokari want to assassinate me … assassinate my character. In another way it’s kind of shocking. It’s like an evil dictator versus activist scenario, where the activist goes to any length to see to the evil dictator’s downfall. Damn ma, agreed I have my short comings (but who doesn’t) but if you really get to know me you’ll see that in truth I’m the harmless simple version of the mister nice guy brand (not to be confused with nice guy syndrome oh). Abeg live and let live jare. Thanks.