Warning! You can’t get all you want for Christmas. Fact! I intended this post to be an interview but after weeks of coaxing Emeka (my interviewee) to play his part unsuccessfully, I gave up. But It’s such a great piece of writing (to me anyway) that I couldn’t allow it to die like that, so I’m publishing it as an unfinished piece.

Emeka at a funfair. He can be reached online at bigmekus82@yahoo.co.uk.

Who’s Emeka Anyaene you might ask. Well back in the day 1993-1995, when the dictatorial Nigerian head of state General Sani Abacha with his deep tribal marks and dark spectacles was running things, when guys of my age were passionate only about playing street soccer and riding bicycles and when entertainment on Christmas day was all about parents loading their kids up in cars and driving them around the major hotels in Abuja (Nicon, Sheraton and Agura) for sight seeing; Emeka and I found ourselves in the then recently established Christ the King’s College (CKC) Gwagwalada Abuja as classmates for the duration of our JSS 1 and 2 years. Back then he was a funny and lively kid who was very active when it came to matters of food. (When you’re in boarding school and not eating to your satisfaction you get a little food crazy. It’s a common phenomenon, I can relate with that). Despite being both based in Abuja we didn’t really keep in touch after that but for a few meetings in town and a few chats online. But recently I got a brainwave. If interviews are going on all over the place from Richard Quest to Jay Leno to Marian Arthur Anazodo and even to Uche Nworah why not me? And so I tied his ass down and got this piece. Ha-ha, the TRAE days show must go on! Enjoy.

Please introduce yourself. More directly, what the heck are you doing in the England?

So what are your final words, is there anything else you’d like to say to anybody reading this?

What’s this overnight celebrity thing? You’re wondering hey? Well I Just won an e-zine (online magazine…”e”-zine) competition and I’m feeling very pleased with my self. Well actually I won the competition over a week ago, but I was just interviewed on my win and it’s in the latest edition of the e-zine. And that’s the source of my present joy. You know it’s like the rapper Twista said: surprisingly becoming a celebrity and all of a sudden granting interviews. Whatever man I ain’t tripping cos I know I’m far from a celebrity. But the novelty of being interviewed that’s new and real cool. For answering five GSM based questions I won an MTN #750 recharge card. And I guess it’s like my only ever lottery or competition win. Lord knows I’ve been dreaming big about winning one of the numerous mouth watering lotteries/competitions going on in the country. And I guess this is only a first step. Who no like awoof sef? E dey run belle no be small. Anyway enjoy the full interview below jare.

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INTERVIEW WITH GSM QUIZ COMPETITION WINNER: TRAE
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CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING OUR GSM QUIZ.
HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU READ IN THE EMAIL
THAT YOU HAD WON?

I felt happy naturally, but some how i expected i’ld win.
Cos i acted fast in suppling the answers and they were
all correct.

DID YOU ANSWER THE QUESTIONS OFF-YOUR HEAD OR DID YOU DO
A LITTLE RESEARCH?

To be honest with you man i owe my success to google…
and of course my personal interest in GSM matters and my
natural inquisitiveness habit. I researched on all the
questions with google.

THE QUESTION ON THE MEANING OF “MTN” KNOCKED PEOPLE OFF.
MOST SAID MOBILE “TELECOMMUNICATIONS” NETWORK. HOW DID
YOU GET IT?

As i said i googled it all up! But it took quite some
time to get the answer though.

HOW DO YOU KEEP YOURSELF INFORMED ON CURRENT TRENDS IN GSM?

Well on the internet i rely on your newsletter and the
mobilenigeria site almost 99%. Besides that i read the
papers, listen to the radio and watch the news.

AND FINALLY, HOW DID YOU SPEND THE FREE AIRTIME?

Texting, flashing and more texting.
Made a few calls though.

Interview in session; Listen and learn a thing or two. Lord knows I’ll be granting many more interviews in future (smiles).