My brain’s a mansion, expanding like pews/
I feed it with good stuff, try not to abuse/
From people’s reaction, I’m filing its views/
So give me the action and I’ll give you its news/

Ok I’m done rhyming. I’ve been up to a lot lately…J-O-B scheming. And it has occurred to me that oil money has spoilt Nigeria and Nigerians silly. Entrepreneurial wise we’re not making much progress and are instead content to wait it out for the monthly oil revenue. Our civil service is lazy as depicted in their creed: “government work no dey finish”, leaving one puzzled as to how they would fare if government establishment were responsible for a larger part of their own funding. In the end a lot of people climb up the social ladder courtesy of the “oil money” and a lot of others are happy or have no option but to be their faithful dependants.

Still keeping to the article’s theme I’ve done more than is usual traveling in the past 7 weeks. I was in Lagos last month for a job aptitude test. And first of all I’ll like to say the company’s crazy for calling us up for the test a bare 36 hours to the event. The stress I had to go through to get there and the disorientation of the test venue speaks volume of the sufferings of Nigerian graduate job seekers. My impressions away from the test is that Lagos is one rugged city and it’s traffic and congestion problems are two reasons that makes me wish myself away from it as a place of abode. The trip was actually my first visit to Lagos in 8 years! And courtesy of many a blogger’s rant I was scared and equally cautious. All in all Lagos was worth it as I enjoyed the journey through the South West; a welcomed difference indeed after being saturated with the South East and North Central for far too long.

After Lagos I made a return to Gboko in Benue State as a member of a four man crew called Art IMPACT Productions whose hustle included video recording, editing and production; conducting interviews, handling customer relations and marketing for the 3 week duration of the 2007 Batch A Orientation camp program. Had an overdose of nostalgia there being that a year earlier I was having some of the best times of my NYSC life there. At Gboko I got the much sought after job experience; ate humility, diligence and dedication for breakfast, lunch and dinner and learnt many a business truths. My Gboko sojourn was invaluable…priceless, but for everything else there’s MasterCard.

November 1st 2007, with a camcorder doing what I had to do as part of my biz hustle in Gboko

The traveling ended with a trip to Jos over the weekend. Also a first time journey and this time around for the purpose of writing one of them Bank job aptitude test which are very popular with fresh Nigerian graduates. Jos is a town with an unNigerian kind of weather but it’s ok. I had a nice time there and I came back with one truth: “practice makes perfect”!

It was the Great Nigerian novelist Chukwuemeka Ike who over 15 years ago wrote the book “our children are coming!” about the generation gap war between the young and their middle class parents. Borrowing a leaf from him I’d like to say in this commentary that in contemporary times children/youths of my age are not just coming, they are running! They’re in one too many instances in too much of a hurry to fill up their parents’/the elders’ shoes.

Almost every day I hear talk by youths of the likes of: “our leaders have messed things up for us, we have to set things right”. Not bad per se, but coming from the young and the restless, people who are hardly good managers in small quantities, talk less of If they are entrusted with major figures it becomes saddening and one can’t help it but weep for the future of the nation. It’s almost like another case of the prodigal son being in too much of a hurry to get his entitlements/inheritance from his father. What follows are four points to ponder on the topic.

1) Why the rush? You get in early; become a leader at 37, 8 years later you're done, what next?

2) The elders might have messed up here and there but believe you me they didn't spend their 50 plus years on earth moping about like sitting ducks doing nothing. Wisdom in different quantities and spheres has surely being accumulated all the while and as such they’re more than capable reference points for the youths. As the saying goes “there are certain things that an elder can see sitting down that a young man can't see even if standing up.

3) Older people tend to be better leaders because they are experienced. They’ve been there and done that; have got that understanding and therefore tend to be more rational in their thoughts, words and actions. Having been in all types of shoes before they’re better equipped to walk the legs, carry others along and best satisfy each person. Needless time that would have been wasted on familiarization is thus saved. look at it this way: at the time of your first crush/relationship at say 16 you probably felt you've found your soul mate and that you were ready for the world, but now that you're in your mid-twenties you can't help but confess that you didn't know shit back then and then thank your lucky star that you didn't become a teenage father.

4) We should be patient and wait for our turn. Youth agitation is sort of like the entry level worker scheming for his boss' job thinking that with his 1st class degree he could surely do better than his boss who has a 2nd class lower degree and 10 years of work experience under his belt.

Don’t get me wrong though I’m all for youth empowerment, it’s just that I want it done with the right mind set.

Ignorant hot blooded Biafran youths ready for war. Our children are indeed running.

I must confess that I’ve always wanted to do this (a blow by blow account of a music show) ever since I read thisday music festival october 7th & 8th, 2006 and RHYTHM UNPLUGGED Lagos: THE REVIEW...a must read. I hope this rocks and if it doesn’t you’d be entitled to a refund of the 10 minutes of your life you’re about to spend reading this.

The show which held on the 8th of September (2007) at the Ladi Kwali hall of the Sheraton Hotel Abuja was put together by the Wetin Dey? organizers. Wetin Dey? a 30 minutes television drama with HIV awareness and prevention as its main theme is itself sponsored by the BBC World Service Trust.

I took the original notes for this post with my Nokia…1100! It’s crazy the shit we learn to manage so well with. Unfortunately I have no pictures of the event to share. I didn’t have a device to make that possible and the digital camera of the chick I sat with wasn’t recharged enough.

On the lucky side I got a seat at the front row, which definitely is the best seat at shows from a “fan”atic perspective. With it comes the privilege of seeing the artists up, close and personal with all the energy or lack of it they bring to their act. You also get to touch them if they ever deal out handshakes. Although I didn’t bother about that second bit because I was feeling kind of reserved at the night.

The show which was a mixture of music, fashion, talk and drama started at about 6.25pm as against the original commencement time of 4pm, which meant arriving late because I completed watching the 3pm Super Eagles game counted for nothing. If music is my beloved son, football is its twin.

The MC for the show was one of the Wetin Dey? actresses. If you follow the drama you’d recognize her as the wife of the policeman. She did a nice job; humour and class combined in one. The co-sponsors of the show did theirs too by providing free HIV counseling and testing in front of the event venue; though I doubt that a lot of people took advantage of that. Talking about people the attendance was over 100% and incident free. Kind of expected though considering the fact that the audience was a representation of the crème de la crème of the posh/ajebotas Abuja youths.

The performance roaster for the event was almost endless with the artists scheduled to come on stage in the order of their level of success/establishment in the industry. You might disagree with the listing but I think they got it pretty right. And being that the acts were much and time wasn’t the deal was that it was to be more or less a song per act. Despite that they were expected (and they did) to throw a line or two about protection against HIV during their piece.

After several upcoming acts had come and gone it was Noree the non rhyming but sweet “baby no dey lie” ABJ crooner’s turn. I thought he’d perform his “baby no dey lie” song and wow the crowd but the brother had a new song premiere plan instead. The highlight of his performance was this amusing incident which I suspect was rehearsed. Midway into his act a guy ran on stage to embrace him kneeling down (I guess that’s a forgivable lapse on the part of the bouncers as they generally did a good job of protecting the artists on stage) and Nore gave the guy his copy of the show’s invitation card, after which the guy did the sign of the cross as if he’d just been blessed by a reverend father and then left the stage.

Seun the sweet voiced gospel artist and FUTH Minna graduate was next. I don’t really know the name of his song he did but what the heck, I love all his songs! For me he killed it but judging by the relative indifference of the hall he’s got to work on his publicity.

Of all the upcoming (and hitherto unknown to me) artists on parade I felt this swagger heavy guy the most. I didn’t get his name but the rap song had the “she go say I be lady” part of Fela’s “lady” continuously looped as the chorus. Ingenious! His hypeman was what made his act thick though. The dude was fat as fuck but displayed dance moves from several genres much to the delight of the crowd.

When they were gone the DJ spinned Olu Maintain’s “yahoozee” and it got the hall crazy with everyone doing the yahoozee dance. I must say the DJ was great on the night, some others would say he’s much better than the over hyped Jimmy Jatt

The yahoozee frenzy didn’t last for long as Uche a gospel rock artist (rock artists in Nigeria are endangered species) was due to do her thing. Her song rocked! Pun intended; reminds me of Evanescence’s “bring me to life”. And the chorus is in…wait for it, Igbo! She’s also a dancer and a medical practitioner. Not bad but what was with all the dancing on stage, that’s not what rock is about. I could have sworn she attended UNN or UNEC; someone like her was a regular feature at school shows…that’s without the rock part though.

When she was done Bemsar the guitar man came on to do his “something good” gospel song. It left me feeling Godly. There was a drama sketch afterwards that featured a few of the Wetin Dey? cast. It was written by an HIV positive guy, evidence of the fact that testing positive doesn’t mean one’s career goal is done for. There were other breaks where speakers came to talk on HIV related issues, particularly of note was one cute dreads wearing chick. Damn the virus.

Age Beeka came through after the talk. He did some new songs from his forth coming album and as usual brought the whole gyrating on stage thing to his act.

And things could only get better as MI came on after him. The phrase “short but mighty” aptly fits the Chocolate City rapper! He was the first act of the night to have the crowd literarily eating out of the palm of his hands. He talked to the crowd about himself, his music and the circumstances that led to the writing of the two songs he performed: a narrative love song and his conscious intelligent “crowd mentality” hit.

The first part of the fashion parade was then rolled out featuring male and female models. The second part and wrap up came later on in the course of the show. It was my first catwalk live viewing. Nice moves I must say and excellent work with the wrappers, or is it ankara that it’s called? Ladies help me out; the designer was a cutie too.

Terry Tha Rapman subsequently came on with AT as his hypeman (AT had earlier on did his own solo, an R&B cover of an American rap song, thumbs down bro). Sadly Terry’s performance on the night was as poor as his dressing. His on stage carriage was weak and he made “na beans” and “only for Naija” look like dumb songs.

Sixfootplus the Abuja based hip hop veteran was next. Though I personally feel he has passed his prime he had a great performance and the crowd loved him. AT made his 3rd appearance on stage as Six’s hypeman. If OD was there too for his “don’t hate” hit I would have puked as AT would have made it a record 4th time on stage. Six had the some Tiv dancers on for “swange” from his 1999 album and then wrapped things up with the more current “e don do me”. The sing along chorus value of both songs really enhanced his performance.

After him was 2shotz (With MI of all people as his hypeman! I’m guessing that was an impromptu arrangement) and true to pun rules his performance was too short. He worked the whole hall into a frenzy and then left almost as soon as he came in. Sort of like getting mami wet with the foreplay thing only to slip out before the big O under the pretext of meeting up with wifey for dinner.

Sasha was next. By this time with each act the audience crowded around the stage cheering on, some others taking pictures with their phones and digital cameras and hustling for space with the professional photographers and video camera men. I might not really be into her but I admit she was good, the crowd showed her love particularly 3 boys who were drooling at her through out her time on stage.

Shit was progressively getting bigger, it was Modenine’s turn. Sage came on first to do a spoken word intro. I couldn’t appreciate his poetry, probably because the noise levels were by now high in anticipation of Modo. Poetry done with it was time for rap; Modo stepped out with Kraft tagging along. He was thoroughly mobbed as almost all the young core hip hop lovers rushed towards the stage. It was the first time that more than half of the audience was up on their feet, I had to stand up too else I see nothing. He did “cry”, “Nigerian girls”, “Lagos state of mind” and his verse on “stylee” (Modo displaying his new found Lagos love in front of his original ABJ people was…queer) with the crowd rapping along with him word for word. I admit this made me really happy; it’s what hip hop is about from a fan’s perspective and it’s good to see this happening in Nigeria and to our own artists. But what was with Modo’s cap, he was switching its position like every single minute. He should have just thrown the damn thing to the audience like top acts do. More than a handful of the crowd were half expecting him to do so.

One hit wonder Weird MC (she solely got rich off “ijoya” and the feature on P-Square “bizzy body remix”. I must slap myself for still harbouring hustler ambitions) wrapped up the show. She came in with the P-Square intro, you could have thought P-Square were in the house. I must give it to her though as she bettered Modenine by getting the whole hall standing. She did her “bizzy body” lines, some other nothing-extraordinary songs of hers and then the big hit: “ijoya”. She might be a small woman but she packs more than her fair share of energy as she covered all corners of the stage and even the crowd stands. The show ended well after 10pm.

It’s almost been a month since I ditched my khaki and stepped into the free world, and if you asked me “nwokem ke kwanu?” I’d tell you “nna/nne…I just dey”.

Listening to RayPower Abuja 100.5 FM’s “Political Platform” at 9.15am on weekdays is one of the ways that have helped me keep my sanity. It’s a program which aims to wrap up the political news of the day in just 15 minute. And the presenters: Ehiedu Aniagwu, Mustafa Mohammed, Amaechi Anakwe and Okhiria Agbonsuremi are surely doing a good job at that. Quite similar to what their colleague Gbenga Arulegba does on AIT Abuja’s “Focus Nigeria” from 9-10am on weekdays. One thing though is that in the heat of the analysis the presenters at times take things too personal and display unprofessionalism. But who can blame them, since on the other hand NTA chose to be unobjective during the famous third term craze and to some extent in this year’s general elections. Another thing I’ve realized about the show is that the same magnitude with which they hate Obasanjo is the same magnitude with which they respect Yar’dua (well that’s quite common on a lot of fronts). Anyway the popularity of the show is evidence of the fact that the respect of people’s right to free speech is to a large extent well alive in Nigeria.

If RayPower helps me with my sanity the FRSC makes me loose it. I just got my (renewed) driving license after over two months of stress. And that’s because I chose not to cut corners but follow due process. Damn I hate guys in uniform; inefficiency is their middle name in Nigeria! Fuck that though as I should be on to better things this evening. I just got my invitation card to the BBC world Service Trust sponsored “Wetin Dey?” Da Mix show at the Sheraton Hotel. It should be some great entertainment as Modenine, Terry Tha Rapman, Weird MC, MI (of the crowd mentality fame) amongst others are on the bill. Shamefully I haven’t attended too many shows in the FCT so I’m really looking forward to this.

Quick observation; is it not hypocritical that we celebrate when Nigerians are making waves abroad with their businesses but suddenly feel threatened or that there’s cause for alarm when foreigners come here and rake in huge profits with their own businesses. Anyway this seems to be true for all nations; it’s a greedy world isn’t it?

This was the scene after one of our goals in our first match against France in the soon to end FIFA Under-17 WorldCup. They seem to be doing some traditional dance steps. See as the assistant referee come dey bad eye dem. Abeg just bring home the cup jare, no do like dem Femi Opabunmi of the 2001 Under-17 and dem Mikel Obi of the 2005 under-20 who went all the way only to loose at the finals.

Fellow Nigerians as is expected everybody and their blog alter ego has a take on current situations in the nation. Well not to be outdone here’s my own, only that it’s in a “no long thing” format. Cheers.

Naira Redenomination policy
My verdict: not a bad policy. A lot of the people against it just haven’t fully understood or read up on the implications. But Soludo does deserve some heavy knocks for not thinking of it earlier and allowing millions to be wasted on the now needless new coins and notes, plus millions more that are yet to be wasted on further reprinting and mass-enlightenment. The only part I hate is the coins reintroduction; I don’t think we’ll ever get used to that again.

South South security situation
Like some other people thinking about this just makes me go “oh dear”. The Niger Delta might be getting the raw deal off their oil but violence is never the way to go about solving problems. All the cultist and militants are frauds; they’re all in it for the money. The police and military should for once wake up to their core duty of protecting life and property and deal with situation effectively.

Profligacy and embezzlement of national wealth by leaders
The House of Reps case being the latest example of this phenomenon. Blame this on our “chop-and-quench-tomorrow-fit-no-dey” psyche. It’s a shame we’ve gone so selfish misusing vast amounts of wealth not knowing that these same amounts can do wonders for local infrastructural community development or as grants to the less privileged. 8,500 Naira might be chicken change to a few people but for a lot of others particularly youth corpers it’s often been a life saver.

Lagos indecent dressing and Covenant University brouhaha
I know that in liberalized societies like the US and UK there is the tendency for the family system to be fucked up. But even worse things happen in the so called socialist, value-respecting societies. The fact is that democracy and its inherent freedom is the best way ever for society to live by. We’re all mortals and equals; no man has the right to forcefully impose his will or standards on others. We should chill with all the religious and moral hypocrisy and allow people to indulge as they like. It’s a free world, it’s their life and the consequences are theirs to bear alone.

Reduced English Premier League broadcast
I couldn’t care less about this. We’re already too obsessed with that league for our own good. Hopefully this will afford people the chance to now get a life. And instead when we keep it football it’ll now be by watching the Under-17 and Under-21 male teams, they seem to be doing well these days. And there’s even added joy with the Super Eagles; Berti Vogts has been getting us the friendlies on a regular basis! Although our joy would be complete if the games were transmitted live.

Uche Nworah-Binyavanga irony mix-up
We all have what we’re extremely passionate about and will defend till death, in Uche’s case it’s his beloved Ndigbo. It’s just that he took it overboard. No one’s perfect we all err; so everyone who's been on his case is better off giving him a break. They should note that an advice given harshly often defeats its aim as it ends up upsetting its' target instead of correcting it.

I’ve never watched as much movies as I’ve done in the past one month, (no) thanks to pirated DVDs from China that are now flooding the Nigerian market. Anyways it’s great stuff: very cheap top quality films to watch at will with little hassles!

So I finally attended what should be my first book presentation (bookworms Oj-Uknaija and co. shift, make a little room for me to the left :)). It was Uche Nworah’s “The Long Harmattan Season” Abuja book launch held on the 26th of July at Chelsea hotel. It’s basically a collection of the articles he’s written over the past few years as an internet columnist. Having narrowly missed his wedding two years back I couldn’t afford to miss this one as well; the brother has been one of my blogging inspirations!

Being a true son of the soil I kept to Nigerian time attendance wise, thus I missed the review by Reuben Abati. But it was still enough for me to come to the conclusion that the presentation was great as a whole. I liked the caliber of guest and the event’s organization, although the attendance could have been much better. The MC for the day a bosom friend of Uche was cracking us up non stop and all others who spoke (bought a copy/copies of the book and supported the course) had nice things to say about the author. I Impressed myself by giving a nice commendation speech (I wonder if that’s enough to get me on TV) after which the good times rolled as I grabbed a copy of the book which Uche duly autographed and then graciously posed with him for the paparazzi :). It was nice finally getting to meet the brother and physically giving him my regards and having him acknowledge such.

By the way I was at the event with fellow blogger Josh from “What It Is”, who was a really good friend on the day as he saved me from some potentially embarrassing situations. The sad side to the whole thing though was that Uche was attacked and robbed some days earlier. Materially he lost a lot but luckily and more importantly he came out alive and with just a cut on the head. That explains the plaster he had on at the event.

I guess that’s it for now so I can get back to reading the book (my my, the packaging is top notch unlike a lot of Nigerian novels, anyway it was printed abroad so I guess that’s to be expected )…although I have already read quite a number of the articles online. That reminds me since it’s a “blook” a lot of the colourful online responses (comments) to the articles will be missing…how sad. You know we who are familiar with the guy know that he’s great with the pen but does at times allow his emotions to come too much into play thus considerably reducing the substance of his writings.

The event flyer; I’m waiting for Uche to upload the pictures and give his take on the event so that I can give this post some proper footing.

As a Batch B corps member service year for me started in September 2006 to end sometime in mid August 2007. And these are the top ten things (listed chronologically not by importance) I won’t forget about my NYSC induced stay in Benue State. This write up is actually Kind of premature in timing considering the fact that I’m not yet done serving, but I still think the list would be the same even if I waited until after POP (Passing Out Parade: the official ceremony to mark the end of a service year) before writting it.

1 The 3 weeks Orientation Camp
What more can I say about this, I’ve already said it all here: “A September to remember”. In addendum sha the orientation camp in Gboko is definitely the most interesting place I’ve ever visited.

2 My Mum’s passing away
This happened 3 months into my service year and was the saddest part of it all. I still vividly remember the last (phone) conversation I had with her at the Zaki-Biam market right after I made my first trip to neighbouring Wukari in Taraba State; it’s a moment I won’t forget.

3 Getting my Laptop
My Dad got that for me 4 months into the service year. It’s the best quantifiable gift I’ve ever received…and it changed my life in many more ways.

4 Bendra
I’m a softie at heart often falling In and out of “crush”. I got to know Bendra on the 1st of February. She, my phone pal now turned fellow corper kept me company many boring NYSC nights, particularly in February and March.

5 Becoming more Independent
NYSC being the cushioner before submerging into full blown adulthood it helped me become more independent as a person. Amongst other things I became cooking and job hunting certified and on another level Mum being gone and Dad being far away I learnt how to purposefully run my life.

6 The friends I made
Service year offered me the opportunity to make so many new acquaintances (a lot of them being people of my age) and have new perspectives on the behaviour of different people. Being that no man is an island onto himself that certainly was a big plus.

7 The Corpers lifestyle
Damn, it sure was good while it lasted. You know: the goodwill and respect showed to me because of my status, managing the allawee pocket change, my secondary school short teaching experience, the fallout with my employer, the partially ghosting months, my Ebonyi State corper to corper trip, my financial secretary portfolio, the community development service, our corpers’ week activities, my batch’s roundabout project runs etc. I’ll miss it all.

8 My increased Nigerianess (Tivness)
Service year made me a more complete Nigerian by my ten fold increased acquaintance with the Tiv ways. It’s during the time that I found out that I could be completely detribalized, and that’s after freeing my mind from the entire stereotype and bullshit our parents and elders instilled in us. I could be in a bus for hours and be the only one not able to speak Tiv and my mind would still be at rest…not feeling any uneasiness at all. On a lighter mode I can now distinctly recognize the Tiv accent. So if I’m out of the state and I hear a Benue man speaking I’ll most likely be like: “hey Dude you’re Tiv, how far now!”

9 Getting my mojo back on with the NIM exams
I’m talking about the NIM-NYSC Proficiency Certificate in Management exams. I studied, wrote and I’m sure will pass them well. It left me feeling personally fulfilled…you know erasing my procrastinating academic past and setting up myself for a glorious intellectual future. Of course my new found love for the library also helped in this revival.

10 Getting my Articles published in the NYSC 2006 Batch B souvenir brochure
Yep, two old blog articles of mine: “And time stood still” and “A day in the life of a Corper (Corps Member)” (this is still subject to confirmation though as the magazine is not yet out, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be good). I’m excited about this as it’ll be the first ever time an article of mine would be in print, although I’ve been countlessly republished online.

Smiling happy children and mud huts, a constant feature during my NYSC days

As an add-on if there’s one thing I have to say about the NYSC scheme it’s that for most participants it won’t likely be career and financially rewarding but engaging in the teaching (there’s a 9 in 10 chance of doing that for your primary assignment) and community development work under it is a life changing experience for the better.

This Okada (motor cycle) rider will probably make it from the school to the house (or vice versa) in eight minutes.

Around the world in eighty/80 days…I love the phrase, the cartoon and the movie. But for this blog post it’s more like around Nigeria in eight days. As you can guess I’ve been on the move a lot in the past few days, crisscrossing different places in North Central and South eastern Nigeria (six states in all in addition to the F.C.T.) that I’m almost beginning to liken myself to the PDP presidential campaign team in last month’s general elections.

These are the places I’ve touched: Abuja, Nassarawa (passed through Keffi, Akwanga and Lafia), Benue (Markurdi, Katsina-Ala, Zaki-Biam, Gboko), Enugu (Enugu, Obollo Afor, Nsukka), Anambra (Awka, Aguata L.G.A.), Ebonyi (Abakaliki) and Kogi (passed through Ayangba, Ajaokuta and Lokoja).

So what was the reason for my travels? Uhm…to attend to important matters of personal interest. Anyways here’s stuff I’ll rather talk about: contemplations from the travels.

From the much I’ve taken-in in the last eight days I think writing a book on the living, farming and public transport habits of people in North Central and South Eastern Nigeria is in line. Right now I’m a mobile uber store of knowledge that it’ll be a shame if I don’t bequeath some of my knowledge to humanity…I’m just kidding…partially.

The provision of good (tarred) roads…and social amenities in general to the citizenry by the government makes a big difference to the psyche of the people. It determines how happy, patriotic and cooperative they’ll be, how well they’ll get along with each other and how crude or morally upright they’ll become. It’s no wonder then that a lot of Nigerians don’t wear their national team’s jerseys or bathe themselves in national colours during Super Eagles games. They instead prefer to drool over European soccer because that’s a more mutually benefiting investment (top quality football in return for getting high off the passion and fun of the most beautiful sport on earth).

Abakaliki the capital of Ebonyi State surely is one of the neatest towns in the South East! Yes where I visited was around the Government/State House environs (situated in the heart of town) but intuition leads me to believe that places far off wouldn’t probably be different. Having grown up in Abuja and being used to impeccable surroundings I’ll choose to set up shop from scratch in Abakaliki any day over taking a free house in Enugu, Awka, Nsukka or Onitsha (those places are crowded and dirty!).

Forget the fact that we’ve got new, crisp and clean Naira notes; they’ll all eventually get soiled because of the inherent "dirt" in our monetary exchange system. From the drivers, conductors, bus stop and motor park hustlers living from hand to mouth, to the youth corper working for peanuts and still having to fight before giving his rightly due peanuts and the benefits attached therein, and on to the project manager having to deal with the issue of productivity on one hand and the major expense of paying staff salaries on the other hand. Despite all of that there’s still a feel good feeling attached to being hailed and respected as a big boy because you’ve got money to spend on others.

Last point, a cardinal rule to follow when setting up a cyber café is to make sure your business quarters is spacious. Surfing is like working, it’s best done in a conducive environment, and if you want to stand the test of time such an environment must not only be good enough for the average chat-freak teenager but also for a top business executive. Avoid too many system restrictions and do carry out maintenance work on your systems on a regular basis. And off course customer service must be top notch and very professional.

One’s state of mind = one’s mental or emotional attitude or mood. In his song "I dey feel like" because he’s found love 2face Idibia feels like Obasanjo (feels as powerful as a Head of State because his girl loves him), George Akume, Jolly Nyame, Bill Clinton, Nelson Mandela (because his girl fights for him), Jay-Z (because his girl’s as fine as Beyonce), Bola Tinubu, Bob Marley (because his girl makes him high), Abubakar Atiku and Donald Duke all in one. For me, I’m in a job hunting state of mind and this is how I’ve been feeling.

Bank PHB's The Intern Reality TV Show is closely related with my Job hunting state of mind

I’ve just paid yet again another exorbitant taxi “drop” fare. And in my mind I curse Nasir El-Rufai for banning the use of motorcycles “okadas” as public transport in Abuja. It’s meant that non car owners like me whose (everyday) movement involves going to places with no bus routes have to pay through their nose to transport themselves around the FCT’s municipal area.

After the grueling job aptitude tests and the days of waiting the boss man breaks my heart at the interview. Hear him: “Youngman you’re my number one candidate and all but we needing batch A corpers serving in Abuja and you being a batch B corper serving in Benue it won’t just work. Don’t worry I’ll let you know when we have other openings”. At that moment I felt like a girl who’s just been treated to a wonderful night out by her boyfriend only for him to announce he’s dumping her and then give her a good night kiss.

An hour has passed since bumping into Ifeanyi an old acquaintance of mine when I was in the university. Looking exhausted he told me: “Nna Tochi, e no easy oh, na after service life really start”. In my mind I’m like “tufiakwa! God forbid! No be so my own portion go be”. I don’t really think he had taken this advice to heart: “as a job seeker you’re a product with steady competition and so to sell you’ve got to make yourself marketable by continuous self improvement”.

I just saw my friend Chi Babe off and on my way back I’m thinking to myself that it’s a shame how the pressures of life make people stoop low to kiss major ass. I can’t believe she’s the same chick I had a major crush on when we were in the uni. The job and marriage search thing has all of a sudden made her embarrassingly churchous!

I’ve realized that the same way marriage often dissolves friendship between very good girlfriends is the same way finances can put guys out of the league with their long time buddies. That’s really shitty…pitiful.

Yet another change: my I-don’t-give-a-fuck mode is now major. I’ve cut out a lot of stuff that’s not important to me in achieving my immediate and future life goals and in their places I’ve added those which are. I no more identify with (I don’t give a fuck about) a lot of the IQ decreasing content on TV, gossip and low substance blog reads and people who’re not adding anything of positive value to my life. That’s to name a few, on the addition side I’ve taken up a new humble lifestyle.

Lastly my conscience has been telling me to wake up and cut out on the surfing of the internet for interesting things and instead start getting with my GMAT books, NIM-NYSC studies and other nerdy ish and career bound moves.

Yes that’s my state of mind…how I’ve been feeling in brief. But what ever your state of mind, never forget that no matter how the struggles of life might be eating your heart away through the week, you’ll always have the Nigerian Sunday afternoon rice to look forward to. Peace!

Firstly for the records I didn’t vote in any of the 2007 general elections because I was stuck in Abuja and couldn’t get my self to Benue State where I was registered as a voter. But if I had voted it would have been along this line: the ADC’s Pat Utomi for President, The AC’s Adams Oshiomole and Babatunde Fashola for Governor (if I was registered in Edo or Lagos State respectively) and the PDP’s candidates for Abuja Municipal Area Council (AMAC) Chairman and Vice Chair. The elections were relatively peaceful, free and fair in my area and I monitored events on foot, by word of mouth, on phone and in the print, radio, television and online media.

And from my research I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of Nigerians don’t just know how to loose honourably and accept election defeat. So polls started late in some areas and there were misconducts in “a few” centers, and so what? The invasion of the pitch and the stretching off of a defender of a team who are already six nil down with five minutes to go doesn’t mean a match should be replayed. You would still have lost in any case.

And unfortunately Obasanjo’s fuck ups and the INEC’s Leadership blunders contribute in giving losers something to shout about. And because bad news is always the juiciest the media pounce on that, generalise and blow the whole thing out of proportions (for every original “my voting experience” well written and descriptive blog post there are ten one-paragraph unoriginal “electoral misconduct” blog post in the Nigerian blogosphere). Political losers now build on that, forget about being magnanimous in defeat and the next thing you know they’re holding press conferences accusing their opponents of rigging the elections.

It’s not strange that it’s only the defeated that complain. Even the PDP who have been the most accused turned around to whine in Lagos and Abia States where they lost the gubernatorials. It should tell you something, that rigging (where it truly manifests) is not a PDP only affair and that most people are just bad losers. To them there is no life outside politics and so it’s a deadly fight to the finish.

Let me let you in on something. With a large percentage of people with poor living standards Nigeria is still a place where people will vote for you in appreciation of the gifts you give them and with tribal sentiments. Research show that it’s the poor and ill informed that constitute a majority of the voting populace and since money plays a part in politics the rich political parties reach them, “campaign” and are able to win their votes.

The intellectuals, the media and those who should know better are in the minority. They support the better candidates but are often too occupied with work or pleasures, or feel too big to come out to vote. Their candidates forgetting that money is power and that politics is like advertising (if you don’t advertise you don’t sell) score miserably low in voter education and thus perform miserably at polls.

Adams Oshiomole, Pat Utomi and Jimi Agbaje

I’m sorry Mr Oshiomole; it’s possibly that more people truly voted for Osunbor. You’re a smart chap and I’m sure you’ll keep your self busy and strategise ahead of 2011. The same goes for Jimi Agbaje and possibly Pat Utomi. These unfortunately were the right candidates but with the wrong political machinery.