Preface: “Wood for the trees” as an idiom means not seeing the big picture (woods…aka forest) because you pay so much attention to the little details (trees). Barzini was probably right in quoting the opposite “the trees for the wood” as it implies seeing through the big picture/Western propaganda to understand the little detail that matters, how Western powers are innocuously using brain psychology to make us believe Africa is doomed and salvation comes only from the white man’s intervention.

Like the world of virtual reality goes Sylvester Bane Barzini was but my Facebook friend. We had about ten mutual friends between us and so he cropped up while looking for cool people to connect with. Had all the qualities I liked in the online crowd of people I positioned myself to associate with: great sense of humour, intelligence and originality in ideas. And so I sent the friend request in October, he accepted and the rest was history.

Wouldn’t be eulogizing this but for the fact that he just passed, having failed to recover following a supposed terrible road accident a week or so ago while on the job. Remembering my own very similar ordeal in July 2012 and how being God’s son I pulled through, I sigh. It’s a horrible, horrible thing when the good and interesting are gone too soon. More so being he just got married over a month ago it’s even crazier; my condolences to his loved ones. Barzini I pour libation to the gods on your behalf; thanks for everything, see you on the other side while I remember our last Facebook contact from January 27th:

Trae Zeeofor:
Re: The macabre sex chamber of Libya's Colonel Gaddafi Uncovered; where he raped girls and boys as young as 14

In honesty I took the article with a pinch of salt. Could very well be true as absolute power corrupts absolutely. But I'm quite sure the whole story carries much more allegations than fact. And that the whole stuff has just being blown out of proportion in the way Oyibos like to do; painting Africans black and keeping mute on their own atrocities.

Read in between the lines. It's Gaddafi today, it could be any other African leader past or present tomorrow. But in the eyes of Oyibo's, all Western leaders past and present are angels.

Down with colonialism and media control. Up with Afrocentrism; let's learn to love our own!

Sylvester Bane Barzini:
You see through the trees for the wood brother. Many Africans decide to obliterate their mental faculties for the calumny of western propaganda.
Colonel Gaddafi (may his soul rest in peace) was summarily executed but that was fair trade for the West. Their treachery has turned a once peaceful State into an enclave for terrorist, rather than question their wicked deeds they seek to push the limits of sanity by digging into the past of a man they assassinated in his homeland.
I found the piece sullenly vindictive and without place in the land of humans.
A time cometh, when the tragedy would be at the doorstep of every foreign soul that conspired to throw that African state into anarchy. A time comes.... and it comes soon. It would wake them in the morning and cover them when they sleep at dusk.

Ada Chinedu once upon a time ... Circa 1990

Lost my eldest sister… “Ada Chinedu” as Dad liked to call her on July 30th

Had a seizure and passed away, though she hadn’t been too strong these past few years.

Always was a quiet one, even prior to ill health, not asking for much but giving out a lot when she could.

True she had been occasionally erratic during the same period but one can only function so well at half strength.

Unlike my mum, I feel so bad our last interactions weren’t the most pleasant of memories. Couldn’t give her a ride on July 6th when I briefly visited ABJ. I was raised and self-taught to be extremely great at lending a helping hand (…what more to one of the same blood); and that has never departed me. My hands were tied then…forgive me.

I’m immensely grateful to her for her enormous contribution to my minding amongst a million other stuff. Wouldn’t be me today if she didn’t play her bit.

Thanks for everything; see you on the other side. Adios!

With Chinedu at the Vom Christian Hospital in Jos where she was for a while in 2010.

I made this post on Facebook today:

“So about two months back some chick I used to know threatened me that if I didn't give my life to Christ that the bad luck of my losing my first banking job and been involved in a car accident would continue. I cut off and unfriended the dumb bitch right away. And now recently some chick I’ve become good friends with in the past four years judges me that I’m a bad person and ungrateful to God for surviving my accident because I don't speak in tongues, read the bible, attend night vigils and pay tithes. As if that's the only measure of a good person. Abeg beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here!”

And one of the comments in reply read in quote: “I guess the part that gets me is the constantly implied drivel that somehow being agnostic correlates with increased level of intelligence”.

I think I should give instances why agnostics reason better and are generally more intelligent than people who steadfastly affirm to a religion. It’s for you to read the examples and put two and two together. So here goes.

1) If I put a bowl in front of your door at night with such items like an egg, a white feather, a white cloth, sprinkled blood, a chicken head and a bead, nine out of ten people wouldn’t use that exit in the morning. They’d call some sort of pastor or priest which would indirectly cost them at least a thousand Naira; who would pray for at least 5 minutes, sprinkle holy water around and set fire to the bowl. All this taking at least an hour and distracting you from the job of the day. An agnostic would throw the bowl in the dustbin and immediately be off to work.

2) When the infamous slapping by David Oyedepo of a girl who claimed to be a winch for Jesus came to the fore nine out of ten people defended him. In accordance to the “do you know who I am” creed they opined she was evil and came to disrespect and tempt the Bishop. Very few saw it as child abuse…battery, and as an instance of a mentally disturbed girl who found herself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

3) Work real hard, have lots of skill and some luck and meteorically find yourself in the limelight as a music star. Don’t kill anyone, don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t commit any crime against humanity just be popular. And you can be rest assured that somewhere in Ajegunle in the slums, two boys over a bottle of beer…or in Victoria Island, two ladies while fixing their hair attachments in the salon are bantering over the conspiracy theory that you’re a member of the Illuminati Cult. Their discussion will not change the price of garri in the market but they’ll argue and deride you all the same.

4) When I was in the university in my third year one of my roommates and his twin brother were Seventh Day Adventists in their first year studying medicine. During exam time one of their papers; a core course was rescheduled for Saturday. They never did write that paper preferring instead to worship at church. Subsequently down the years they had academic problems. Their status as medical students was not tenable and they never did graduate as Doctors. Stuff along similar lines is still happening today in Nigeria.

5) When adults my age were kids…and I’m sure even till date, if you grew up in a Christian home and had Muslims as neighbours you were never allowed to eat the meat given to you as gifts during Sallah celebrations. Such meat always ended up in the dustbin. The only consolation being offered by parents being that God forbids you contaminate yourself with food offered to foreign gods. Yes, Nigeria was a green land and food was never our problem.

6) Islam is the dominant religion of Northern Nigeria. And one day should an unidentified person use a torn page from the Quran to wipe his bum after defecating be rest assured that the religious clerics there will easily mobilize more than five million devotees to wreck havoc on all Igbo traders within reach. Yes Allahu Akbar, God is great. And suicide bombings and killings against Americans while exclaiming Allahu Akbar is a manifestation of such greatness.

7) Islam is for the pious. Dutifully all women should compulsory wear the hijab and if possible cover their whole body in black cloth. Men are weak spirited and should not be tempted. A woman’s body is the sole property of her husband and should be kept so. Men on the other hand were created in God’s own image and likeness and should enjoy the sunlight and be proud to display their bodies in various attire as a tribute to the Most High who created them.

8) Allahu Akbar; God is great and we must raise our young ones to know so. Our young boys should be sent away to indoctrinate this religious education into them at a tender age in informal Almajiri institutions. They should roam the street and beg to imbibe the culture of meekness. Forget that it breeds poverty and illiteracy as other skills are not imparted into the kids, at least they can always live a righteous life as sugar cane sellers, security men, bread and tea kiosk owners or manicure and pedicure experts.

9) Finally a look at the world map shows Nigeria is at the center of the world. Yes we are God’s own nation and as such our Government should continue to lavish billions of Nairas each year sponsoring Hajjs to Mecca and Pilgrimages to Jerusalem. Forget that there is no direct or indirect benefit of such expeditions on our GDP or standard of living; we must just continue to do it. As Femi Fani-Kayode, then Special Assistant to President Olusegun Obasanjo often said when rebuking Wole Soyinka and Chinua Achebe “we are not ashamed of that fact that we are a nation of believers...we believe that God rules in the affairs of men”. Yes what distinguishes us from other people is that we are a praying nation, little wonder we’re recognized as the most religious and happiest nation in the world. How wonderful!

Update: I think my line of argument in this post was misunderstood. I was not saying that being outstanding intellectually is directly proportional to being atheist/agnostic. I was saying you stand a higher chance of success at tackling many problems of the world if you approached it from the agnostic front...the rational front. Hence my listing 9 typical everyday challenges.

Two weeks in the villa "no be small thing oh!" I’m just glad that in the end I can say I was wiser for it; I paid my last respects and I gave my mum the befitting burial that she rightly deserved. Props to all who have had my back (via the internet, sms, calls, gifts, words, presence and deeds) over the past few weeks, I can't thank you enough, you made a brother feel loved.

And talking about love, it's now official! After years of languishing in singledom and waiting on love I’ve got me a girl. It feels good to finally find someone who I can afford (to keep). My new boo is a laptop, the Toshiba satellite A110-195! I’m still trying to get to know it better, do a little tweaking here and there and install one or two stuffs. I wish us many fruitful years together (I’m monogamist oriented, hope I don't have to get a second wife or upgrade too soon), and now just like Globacom I can truly rule my world! "No be small thing oh!"

My mum's passing away got me feeling all religious or more correctly coming into contact with a lot of religious...paraphernalia. In my usual religious musings way (don’t mistake my brief writing for simplistic analysis, I’m not one to expound too much in blog posts) I now strongly subscribe to the thought that atheist are getting it wrong big time by living in ignorance. I’m saying the Bible…Koran is too much of a highly structured literary work for one to still doubt that Jesus existed (or that there’s no God/Creator/Supreme Being) and still think that all that are in those books are mere fiction. I mean we’re talking about decades of logical history here, clearly the Bible is no super James Hadley Chase (bookworms fix your favourite author here) novel. Another point is the Mastermind argument (which I’ve always loved) which counters the Atheists’ claim that life just evolved on its own and as such there’s no Supreme Being. The argument goes thus: on sighting a television set common sense tells you that with all its complexity it must have been created by someone/something, it didn’t just evolve on its own. Thus common sense should also tell us that the world/life we live in was orchestrated by some Supreme Being. Yet another point is the barber story. An atheist who was a barber kept blabbing that with all the suffering in the world that surely there’s no God but someone shut him up by asking him with all the mad scruffy haired people on he streets will it be fair to say that there are no barbers? On the other hand…like some atheists I do have good reason to (partially) doubt the Bible and question God as to why he no longer reveals himself as explicitly as he did in the past; but with my Liberal Christian ideology I’m happy to say that I can sleep in peace at night. My brother/sister “no be small thing oh!”

P/S: No be small thing oh! (Nigerian Pidgin English) = It’s not a small matter. The phrase is increasingly popular these days due to 2face Innocent Idibia’s extensive use of it in his new album (titled Grass 2 Grace).

With all humility: The Toshiba satellite A110-195 “no be small thing oh!”

I’m sure that like me you’re tired of my lamentations, but hey what can I do, it’s what it is right now. After several laziness and career thinking bouts I just finished up my eulogy. Couldn’t find the words to rhyme plus my rhyme style wouldn’t even be appropriate (ask the 8 Mile Eminem and Retired blogger Delot, it’s hard work) so I settled with this prose. Amusingly it’s kind of like a combination of my last two posts, hope it doesn’t get y’all down. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you, you and you. I see us doing big things this year…always look at the bright side of life. Oya chop knuckle now...one!

Seriously Missing You; Eulogy to my Darling Mother
It came as a wicked shock to me on December 16th 2006, that mum, you who had been all to me, had a day before passed away. I arrived from Benue that day in high spirits, happy to be free from NYSC issues and really looking forward to the holidays and to showing you the man that I’ve become. Only to be greeted by the sight of throngs of sympathizers and your condolence register. Mum it was utterly surreal grasping the reality that I had been 24 hours too late.

My thoughts wandered all over the place. It was agonizing realising that our phone call three days before would be the last I would hear from you. And that our parting seven weeks earlier (an occasion on which you had given me some sober motherly advice) was to be the last I was to see of you.

When I remember all you suffered for me, the love and care shown to me since birth and all our mother-son conversations I seriously regret every single moment I spent arguing and quarrelling with you and just wish I could turn back the hands of time to take care of you as you did to me.

It’s so unfortunate that one as gentle as you would pass away in a car crash. I really miss you mum, I’ve cried out all the tears in me to the point I’m now crying inside. But being mere pawns in the hand of the creator I’m resigned to the fact that God knows best.

Mum you raised me well, and having my siblings and father to weather the storm with I’m sure that as you live through me I’ll always do you proud. I love you mum.

Your son, Tochukwu (TRAE)

Just came back from Benue…hoping to get back into ABJ life, the election fever and blogging (got loads on my mind). But I guess stuff is going to be different now. Lost my mum yesterday…car accident…just finding out…God knows best. I’ll miss you ma…

Edit (20th December, 2006)

I just want to say thanks and God bless to all (online and offline) who commiserated with me on the death of my mum; It sure did mean a lot to me. Her passing away came as a shock to me and I’m still grieving but life ain’t over and I still have to air out this little blog bits which have been in mind for long.

You know how some people think that when you’re born your destiny is already mapped out by God, well I object to that. I think God creates us and gives us the freewill to do as we please. Right or wrong it’s our choice, determined by whom or what influences us. God just sits back and watches the show and intervenes when he wants to or is called upon too. God finishing homework on our fate before hand, I don’t subscribe too…that would probably bore him out.

Still on destiny, I don’t subscribe to the thought that we have only one true life partner and thus won’t get the best out of life except it’s with that person. That’s small mindedness. I believe God gives us the freedom to choose from a range of people who are compatible with us, and all things being equal we can blossom with any of them. This is evident from your past really great relationships; it’s just a pity that they didn’t work. There’s always hope of another for the widow, widower or broken-hearted.

Talk about displeasures and men who give all the attention to the girl (ogle) when both sexes are before them comes to mind. The scene in the Mayor’s office in the film: Barbershop 2 is a good example of this. Yeah I know of the opposite attraction thing but hey this is a meeting of three not a dinner date of two. Such men probably had it tough growing up and thus can’t win girls fair and square without the use of the executive shine.

Ironic instances: lepa (slim) girls who fuss over food. "TRAE you’re lazy, you ain’t doing enough work…TRAE all you do is eat…TRAE don’t finish the food oh…TRAE I’m hungry stop disturbing me". Funny thing is unlike Eldee of the Trybesmen I eat well but I ain’t fat, I work hard and enjoy my meal hard; but they work loads yet have little appetites. Quite unfair don’t you think? Anyways there were always wonders in life.

Last word: many “mum” and “missing you” songs exist; the lyrics are often too theatrical but no doubt about it I sure do miss my mum…she went too soon.

Job is done, raising ghetto kids in the hood/
You was my strength to carry on and now I'm good/
Job well done, you live through your sons and your grandchildren/
Jesus finally got his bride, mummy dance with him/… (From the song “dance” by Nas)

Where are the Northern Nigerian intellectuals? The question came to mind after reading two articles from The Nigerian Village Square; which by the way is an excellent site. Someone might argue that the south controls the press and so the North is suppressed but what about the internet? It’s supposed to be no mans land but surprisingly of the blogs, forums and Nigerian portals I read input from people of Northern extraction is often minimal. Even a look at the Nigerian diaspora in Europe and Northern America suggest that numbers from the north are but a handful. Or could it be that since the North is predominantly Muslim they prefer the Arab countries? Or maybe it’s the simple mathematics that since they’re less literate there are subsequently less intellectuals? I might be going up North in a few weeks’ times so maybe I’ll find out for myself.

In light of the fact that a number of the Nigerian bloggers I read recently spoke on religion I’m seizing the opportunity to say my own religious bit. If one was born a Christian he’d love Christianity and think it’s the one true religion. If born a Muslim he’d love Islam and think it’s only way to go. Likewise if born a pagan like in the days of our forefathers he’d love his gods and think that’s the shit. Crazy ain’t it? But bro the fact is that religion is like college fraternities. You join and subsequently follow the rules of whichever you choose. All have unity in mind, all worship the same God and all have their various highs and lows. In fact the biggest bad of religion is that all claim to be un-contradictory and perfect as a way of life when in fact none is perfect. Don’t get me started on the imperfections, Google is your friend. The funny thing is as much as they have contradictions we still need ‘em. So do your thing people; for me I’ll most likely be found in the Catholic Church.

When it comes to male-female stuff it’s often the guy that initiates the topic for discussion and then both get chatting (especially when they’re at the getting to know each other stage). But there’s room for exception, we love a girl who keeps us captivated, listening, laughing and going with her flow. In fact I really hate it when a girl calls me and has nothing to say; you know expecting me to dictate the flow. Bitch you called, speak to me, stop making me look like a jerk, I’m not Dave Chapelle you know, I don’t get paid to talk. Wallahi such stuff makes me want to decree that if you ain’t calling me about money (money coming to me, if you’re a guy) or sex (if you’re a girl) then don’t bother calling me.

Perfection can only be found in football, music, pictures…things of that sort ;)

Nah nigga I don't know, I don't know who got you/
I don't know who stabbed you, I don't know who shot you/
I don't know who cut you, I don't know who robbed you/
But you think I know cause you know how my squad do/

That’s 50 Cent on “I don't know officer”. You dumb fucks out there ain’t got nothing on me.

You might have recognized that I’ve been firing from all cylinders in the past few hours; forgive me. It’s just that a recent post on naijablog got me all angry. Dude a.k.a. Mr. Nigeria is at it again. He’s straight misinterpreting and dissing a chick, same thing he did to me some weeks back. Such stuff makes me want to ask him to hold his peace and leave the country if he hates it so much. In my case he started the whole falsities and then his good friend Black Looks took over. And man it hurt so bad. Black Looks a.k.a. Mrs. Activist (In reality she sucks at it. Her whole blog is a joke. Straight copying, pasting and summarizing. You’re a news editor now huh? Mam if you have nothing original to say I suggest you stop blogging) went ahead to brand me as being homophobic (for your info I do dislike homosexuality but I’m not exactly like “kill all homosexuals”) and misogynistic…one who’s canvassing for the raping of lesbians. She did the branding in posts and comments on her blog and on her beloved Global Voices Online. It just wasn’t fair at all. An apology would be a good way to start setting things straight.

Away from that now. I was going through my blog news aggregator like I love to do and stumbled upon this “soul on ice” post. Obi I’m totally with you. It reminds me of one of them Christian pamphlets I read recently. Story goes like this. There once lived a pastor and his son. They usually made the evangelism rounds together distributing pamphlets and preaching the word. Then came this very cold winter morning; dad opted out of the walk but son volunteered to do the rounds alone. As he was on his rounds he came to the house of an old widow. Son knocked, knocked and knocked until she finally opened her door. Son does his delivery and leaves immediately. Next Sunday widow goes to church to give a testimony. Says she was heartbroken over her hubby’s death, after which no one cared for her. Thus she was about committing suicide until son’s persistent knocks made her to go attend to the door. Son’s cheerful smile and the pamphlet he gave her with the bold title “God loves you” made her change her mind and give her life to Christ. Bullshit if you ask me. Very unrealistic to say the least. Can you imagine someone who’s really depressed suddenly change her mind for three words and a smile (most likely a fake one at that). Christians should stop spreading this “God loves you” stuff and instead start spreading the word “we/I love you”. What does a depressed person care about God? God that he/she cannot see. As is said: "God lives in us", therefore if we really care for her we would tell her that we love her and really try showing it to her in our words and actions. Also the habit of trying to make converts with "the world is coming to and end and damnation stuff" is straight bullshit. that’s intimidation. The main message should be that one should be good because it’s good to be good and not because one could otherwise perish in some eternal fire.

Enough said, I’m out

If you’re Nigerian and you’re news conscious you’ll primarily relate the word “Kuje” with a prison in Abuja. Big shots like Mohammed Abacha, Tafa Balogun and even Gani Fawehinmi have spent many a nights there. I don’t even know what the god damn prison looks like but I finished up secondary school in Saints Simon and Jude Junior Seminary Kuje, Abuja (SJS). This post originates because I visiting Kuje again for the first time in six years last week to collect my WASSC certificate (your boy made all his papers in one sitting…still baffles me how I pulled that off. Too bad I slacked academically in the university) and as a result I’m rearing to blog.

It’s a known fact that we have a very low maintenance culture in Nigeria. But being that SJS is a private school I didn’t think that would really apply to my alma mater. But I was shocked on my visit. The school looks very shabby. The buildings need painting and refurnishing; the school vehicles are down; the aesthetics has been lost as the grasses, trees, flowers, pathways, orchards are all in a mess. I also heard of staff welfare complaints. I guess money needs to be pumped in. Although they’re getting grants from Rome and lots of goodwill in cash and kind from Catholics in Abuja. Or maybe it’s a case of poor management.

Anyways I still got good memories of SJS Kuje like:
- The religious stuff. Attending mass and saying the rosary every freaking day. And getting double doses of meditation, reflection and retreats. All in all e been good as e keep man pikin from spoiling…fast.
- Living a nice communal life. It was a small school population-wise so we knew each other and generally got on well together.
- Having fun amidst the hustling. E.g.: food palava, visiting days awaiting, outing trips to get to see girls and get stuff.
- Getting the chance of sitting near the altar in 1998 when the late Pope John Paul II made his 2nd trip to Nigeria.
- Spending a week at the National Missionary Seminary of Saint Paul Gwagwalada, Abuja along with my classmates to witness a priestly ordination firsthand (That week was heaven, right then I definitely wanted to be a priest).
- The bullying I got while there (I lost out on being the senior prefect in my final year because I was too damn small…puberty shit) as it toughened me up for life.

Despite these good memories, at the end of my stay in SJS I decided against continuing my priesthood chase. I didn’t feel I had the calling, plus celibacy definitely wasn’t for me! I still meet up with some folks who decided to advance (My own classmates will be ordained priests in about 3-4 years time) and those guys are living large for real! Nigeria is such a religion obsessed country that once you’re on the priesthood train you’re kind of made for life (nonetheless it’s not all bliss as evangelism is not as easy as it seems). Some wise guys realize this and take full advantage. Let me explain. The road to priesthood is like this: 1 year probation working in a Catholic establishment for candidates who didn’t go to a Junior Seminary (or who need to be crossed examined first), 4 years studying philosophy, another 1 year working, 4 years studying theology, being ordained a deacon and if found worthy being ordained a priest. The wise guys enter the fold, enjoy the free education and other benefits and pull out as soon as they get their philosophy degree. Now ain’t that a bitch?

So much for reminiscing, it has left me feeling like Ahmad in his 1994 hit “back in the day”

I miss those days, and so I pout like a grown jerk/
Wishing all I had to do now, was finish homework/

Why can’t my troubles in life be only about finishing my homework?

Picture TRAE as a senior seminarian. This is what it would have looked like…damn!

“I’m losing my religion”. I first heard that phrase when I listened to Tupac’s verse on "2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted", a song on which he featured Snoop Dogg. And I feel it perfectly explains my situation. I’m losing my religion. I’m not atheist and I guess I do believe in God, but I’m really slacking in prayers, other religious stuff and I’m not going to church much these days. It’s kind of like I’m not feeling God or the whole concept of religion. I’m still good though and try to keep all my thoughts, actions and words positive. I went to a seminary secondary school and got elementarily schooled in the ways of the priesthood. I was active in church activities, specifically mass serving for a long time. A few of my mates, all things being equal should be priest in the next four years. But as one grows older and wiser in the ways of the world, the whole religion concept becomes harder to believe in or follow whole heartedly. Education teaches you to believe and trust in the empirical. Religion stuff based on faith becomes really hard. You start questioning religious stands on some stuff which they believe is bad for you but which you are comfortable with as they harm no one directly. Such stuff includes fornication, swearing-foul language, secular music, smoking, drinking, sexual-intimate dancing, materialism to an extent and some fashion trends. Religion…prayer…Bible reading ain’t easy, cos it’s based on faith. Faith in something which you can’t physically see and rewards from which are not instant. It’s kind of like trusting in an unknown. The talk about heaven, hell, purgatory and life after death is one big unknown. Nobody ever came back from the dead to recount his experiences. So present practices or assumptions about what people should do to get the best out of life after death, is as a result of thousands of years of human thinking and assumptions. Just like law is different from morality, goodness is different from religion. One can still be a good human outside the religious context. We humans naturally are emotional and are prone to deifying people. We like to have role models among our own kind, many times to our own detriment. E.g. many of our religious leaders who are in fact mere mortals like us. I don’t really blame many learned people out there who though not atheist are not into any particular religion. Nor do I blame those who diss religion as Fela did in “Shuffering and Shmiling”, as our religious leaders do have their own faults. I’m certainly not anti-religion. There’s good evidence to be religious. There are miracles, there are testimonies, the Bible is a master piece still relevant in today’s world, there’s Christian history and tradition stuff evident/visible in places like Rome and Israel, and religion does keep society orderly, it makes people friendly towards each other. I also really do admire young people like Ebele a.k.a. melody_me, who despite the temptations of this world still seek God and aspire towards holiness.

In summary I believe in keeping it positive. I do good things cos it’s good to be good; karma exist. I do believe in God but unfortunately I’m really low on religion stuff. Guys please pray for me that some day I’ll start feeling religion again. Here’s a poem I wrote about two years ago. Though I’ve gotten over some of the issues I wrote about, others still relate to my present state. Enjoy it sha. Peace!

Negative TRAE: The devil in me
Completed 12th December, 2003

Wrote the first four lines as far back as June 2003, but revised and completed it in December 2003 to reflect what was on my mind at that time.

A.D.I.D.A.S., is my mode right now
Fucked up class, but still I won’t pipe down
Gotten so ras, creeping all over town
Yawa go gas, I need Jehovah now
It’s like Nas said, I’m a sex crazed bastard
A popular thug, I could be AIDS ravaged faster
I break honey’s hearts, then go back to fuck a hoe
Or I jerk off in the bath, God damn, my morals are low
When it comes to the money, I’m loose, from trees it grows?
This shit sure ain’t funny, cos soon I’ll end up broke
I’ll soon be on my own, a man, how will I cope?
When I’m still fucking known, for stealing my father’s notes
I can’t study right, low drive, I wanna flex
It’s not that I ain’t bright, but shit is on my neck
Turning me to a flunk, a junk, one of the best
And so I’ll graduate so dumb, what happens next?
I’m loosing my religion like Pac, I’m out of track
Before I know I’m right back, with Sat’ making contact
But now never again like Ja, will I go back
But still I always fail, my guy, what do I lack?

* Yawa go gas = Nigerian Pidgin English for a problem will occur

Inspired by the songs:
1) A.D.I.D.A.S. - killer Mike ft. Big Boi and Sleepy Brown
(ADIDAS means All Day I Dream About Sex)
2) Popular Thug - kelis ft. Nas
3) 2 of Amerikaz most wanted- Tupac Amaru Shakur ft. Snoop Dogg
4) Never again - Ja Rule
5) Why - Da Band

The creation of Adam painting by Michelangelo…are you feeling God?