Happy Customer, Happy Bank. Intercontinental Bank PLC’s (IBPLC) slogan.

In the words of Durella “shout alleluia Papa God e don do am”! Yes oh, I’m now more or less a staff of IBPLC! On Monday I along with over 40 others started a 10 week training (Intensive Orientation Programme) at their Garki II branch in Abuja. We’re what are called Executive Trainees, on that entry level ish; but what’s more it’s all on merit baby!

You see I’ve always loved IBPLC right from when I opened my first real savings account with them in my undergraduate days, so the step up to actually work with them is like on the dream-come-true level. This is how my journey went, it might have been quite long but it definitely was worth it:

1) October 2nd, 2007: submitted my CV to a very close friend who’s in the system already somewhere in Niger State.

2) November 17th 2007: along with over a thousand others I wrote the company’s recruitment aptitude test in Jos, Head Quarters of their North Central region. Rated my chances of making it to the next recruitment stage very high and had fun reconnecting with acquaintances from my NYSC, University and even Secondary school days.

3) January 18th 2008: Had my Interview and medicals along with 71 others in (a bloody cold) Jos. Rated my interview as having gone very well, and meanwhile enjoyed the youthfulness of the environment and the energy floating about.

4) April 21st 2008: after a very lengthy sometimes really crazy wait was finally called to start training/resume work with the bank.

Do you know that I almost completely missed the training save for a very good friend? It's a long story sha. Anyway I know Banking’s not easy and I’ll now be having much less free time and lot’s more commitments but I’m highly positive minded and I’m ready to make every moment count. There are a lot of people I won’t forget in a hurry in my quest for the IBPLC job, I’m unable to name them all at this point in time but from the bottom of my heart I want to sincerely thank you all. Peace, love and respect; one!

The print version of Purple Hibiscus as available at Nu Metro Media store, Ceddi Plaza, Abuja

I recently got paid and so I decided that the right thing to do was to walk into the Nu Metro Media Store at Ceddi Plaza, Central Area Abuja for book and window shopping (the place reeks of affluence; it made me want to grab a gun and shout “stick em up!”). I finally settled with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s “Purple Hibiscus”, her other book “Half of a yellow Sun” and Sefi Atta’s “Everything Good Will Come”. The 3 books have been ringing in my ears for months now as I‘ve been seeing the buzz about them everywhere I go in the Naija blogosphere.

I’ve just got through Purple Hibiscus and if you asked my opinion I’d say it’s a good book, but I’m somehow not so awed by it. You see to me a great work of art is art that knocks me off my feet that upon consumption I’m like “this is genius! How did the artist manage to do this?” But in the case of Purple Hibiscus I could relate with pretty much everything the author put into her book and I understand where she was coming from characterization wise, that in a good month with the right inspiration and guidance I could well have written the book myself.

She’s a simple crafting-superb product kind of writer, such that I didn’t have much cause to consult a dictionary while reading like I would have bothered with other novels. And she was very minimally descriptive in her writing; she just wanted the story to flow. The book is not exactly autobiographical but reading it I felt as one with all of her experiences she put into writing the book. Detailedly:

1) Via many years of being a read and write freak online I understood the consciousness she put into the characters Obiora, Aunt Ifeoma and Amaka (Although she made Obiora wise above his age. I think it’s very much the exception for kids to be capable of that level of consciousness at that age. Being highly pro-Nigeria I could relate with Amaka’s alternative musical taste and philosophical stance).
2) Having frequently visited my village over the past few years I was happy with her apt depiction of village life in Igbo land and I was impressed by her great love for her Igbo roots.
3) Having had my university education in Nsukka between the year 2000 and 2006 I very much felt at home with the novel.
4) Having witnessed military rule in my awakening teenage years I could very much identify with the plot of the novel.
5) I went to a seminary secondary school but now considering myself a very liberal Catholic I could very much identify with her religious views as painted in the novel.
6) In life I’ve known what it means to be rich, middle income earning and poor, so I understood the extremes painted in the novel.

I’m now off to read “Half of a yellow Sun” and “Everything Good Will Come”. I hope they’ll sooth away my annoyance with Chimamanda for allowing Kambili's mum poison her dad.

Udeme Junior, Chris Rock, Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer…your average man

Like his father Udeme Junior (Jnr) was a great man, but unlike his dad it wasn’t flying planes and drinking Guinness stout that did it for him, it was sex. To him it was just as normal a pattern formed by drops of greatness as any other could be and as such once he was on he had to be on. Nothing in his thinking came close to an orgasm, not even Nigeria winning the FIFA World Cup beating England, Ghana and Brazil along the way.

When it came to sex he liked it the easy way; with prostitutes (a.k.a. ashewos, ashawos, ashis). A major pro for the addiction being the large variety of options available to choose from and its programmability. And so when he bothered to care he was always left bewildered how the monogamous oriented managed.

He relished the scoping (observatory) ritual before the pounce where he would check out the stats of the ashis with the term well-proportioned as the benchmark. Flirtatiousness, sassiness and willingness to engage in small personal talk also racked up points for a girl in his books but loud mouthedness was a definite no-no.

Another stat that had become important to Udeme Jnr was that majority of the ashis he came across were of Igbo origin. A finding similarly obtainable in a lot of other amateur demographical research he had done. Once again he was left bewildered, pondering the reliability of the census system.

But tribe aside he had discovered that for all ashis pleasure servicing was just as normal a job as any other like bus driving or journalism. And staying true as typical Nigerians he’d come to understand that most of them were unfit to hold on to their titles. The rare breed that loved and mastered the art were hard to come by but when you did find them they left you feeling fulfilled like Cyprian Ekwensi’s Jaguar Nana for they were masters of the bed whether in faking or not.

Sadly though there was no redemption for his buddies as everyone exploited and looked down on them. They had to pay all sorts of bills and take care of all sorts of minor to major expenses. No real friendships were formed as the only relationships they built, with marketers and randy men were never unconditional. Daily life for them was a vicious cycle of smoking, drinking, fucking, dancing and mouth running. That being not much of a surprise considering the fact that most of them were school drop outs. Of course there was always the option of the higher class better-learned prostitutes in bars and on the streets to choose from but somehow Udeme Jnr had found himself more of a brothel monger.

The brothels were often a long narrow row of small rooms with the goods being displayed in front illuminated by red lights. Entering one Udeme Jnr observed the usual: a small bed, a small window and feminine interior decorating. Depending on the worth of the ashi the room might have also boasted of a fan, radio or TV. Taking off his clothes the instruction by the ashi that he should hang them on the wall nailings embarrassed him but soon the rush of blood to his dick enveloped him as she expertly wore him a condom as dexterously as a blind village woman peeling egusi/melon seeds.

It was time for the business, missionary position front assumed she guided his dick to her lubricant filled vagina and Udeme Jnr was resolved to pump away having not being encouraged to breast suck or engage in meaningless foreplay. Reading her mind she probably didn’t have time to waste and would exploit any chance presented to her to get her money without rendering full services.

The deed being done she cleaned his dick up with some tissue, the touch of her hands on his privates teasing him in an uneasy way making him reminisce about the crazy girl with the foul smelling cunt he fucked last week who kept pushing him for more when he had just about had enough. While he dressed up clumsily She flinged the evidence into a small basket at the side of her bed and prepared to freshen up for the next client.

He paid and bade her a quiet farewell at the same time thinking of how generously he would have tipped her had the sex been better. The guilt feeling came upon him but he consoled himself with the words “it’s just sex” and a silent prayer to drop the habit and keep the STIs away.

What happens when you don't plan well for your kids

The blogpost you’re about to read can be summarized into the following sentences: well-to-do families beget successful children, while underprivileged families beget unsuccessful children. The underprivileged children that are lucky enough to make it good are few while children from well-to-do backgrounds have all it takes to make it big hence keeping the status quo. In addition if a couple is struggling with life but want a better future for their offspring their best bet is to birth only the number they can adequately take care of. Read on though to get the full picture.

Family Planning as used in this post does not just mean making the decision to have children but also making in-depth arrangements on how you intend to raise them.

Drawing from what Al Pacino said in The Godfather Part III (Don Michael Corleone addressing a letter to his children): “the only wealth in this world is children; more than all the money, power on earth, you are my treasure”, what truly matters or gives happiness in life is enjoying the children you raised. If you choose not to have them like Jeremy Weate of naijablog it’s ok but if you choose to the least you can do is to be a good parent and raise them well.

If you know financially and emotionally you can only properly take care of 1, 2 or 3 children then by all means stick to that. Don’t birth a battalion of kids and then end up: sending them out to live with relatives, always complaining that there’s no money when requests are made, loosing sleep over how to pay their school fees, abandoning them after their tertiary education but expecting them to perform miracles and bring you the goods (parent of a doctor, lawyer, senator etc).

Why I’m hammering on this is because ideally it’s the right thing to do. You do it for your children and they in turn will do it for theirs. There you go: a pleasant cycle of happiness (as against the vicious cycle of poverty we see too much in Nigeria). Just the same way you plan to marry right in order to avoid having sickler kids or ugly children which could make you look bad is the same way you should plan to raise children who can achieve greatness in order to be adequately taking care of in your old age.

In the western world you hear about parents starting very early to save for their kids’ college/university education fund but in Nigeria too much of the time it’s the hand to mouth or live-one-day-at-a-time existence, condemning children to a hard frustrating life. The result is there for all to see: 22-26 year old Nigerian graduates still largely dependent on their parents while their mates abroad are very much independent, married and some with children of their own. And the fact of work being not so easy to come by as it is abroad compounding the whole problem.

That’s why at times I don’t blame the children of well-to-do families, the type we like to call ajebota. A few of their parents might have acquired their wealth dubiously but at least they’re able to give their children the kind of education and comfort with which ideally nothing can prevent them from reaching the pinnacle of their success. They go to the best schools, socialize best, go on tour during holidays and they actually live their life enjoying the money that works for them and their parents (not the other way around…think rich dad, poor dad).if they want to be entrepreneurial when they reach adulthood they’re sure of full financial support from their parents which plays a big factor in their success. Look at the young people of the recent Future Awards, 90% of them were able to blow because of their parent’s moral and financial support. Not the no-money-to-pay-school-fees, go-to-night-vigil-as-Jesus-is-the-answer story the children of the less privilege have to contend with. People like Asa, Dimeji Bankole, Denrele Soundcity are testament to the advantages of having strong parents. Those that make it from grass to grace, on their own with minimal efforts from their parents are actually very lucky as for every one of them that succeeds a thousand others fail. Examples of this kind are John Mikel Obi, Chinedu Ikedieze and Osita Iheme (Aki and Pawpaw), 2face Innocent Idibia, Agbani Darego etc. It's actually kind of like the no-finance-no-romance creed.

Now for the wrap up I’ll have you know that I’m not parent bashing. I know what effort they put into our lives (not less what my parents did for me) and that life is a long process with changing situations that can mess up original plans. I’m just annoyed that too many parents get it wrong from the start. Capisco...capiche…capeesh?!

The title of this blog post might read like many a Nigerian political campaign catchphrase. I guess that’s a little amusing, in actuality though it’s an outline of my aspirations and dreams for the year 2008. I’ve never being one for New Year resolutions or very clearly defined career paths or life goals but this comes closest to that.

One of the first decisions I’ve made this year is to make a name change. I’ve tinkered with something like this before but this time it’s for real and as a result of more matured reasoning. I’m dropping the A from my hitherto official initials “T.R.A.E.”. I chose the A at Confirmation (a Catholic religious ceremony) to turn my initials from TRE to TRAE. But now that I consider myself a liberal Christian and have also gotten sick of owning 4 names I’m reverting back to what my parents named me: Tochukwu Raphael Ezeokafor. The fact that my middle name still starts with an R and A means that I’m still good for the name/initials TRAE. Cool!

Politically with regards to Nigeria I’m at a “siddon look” level this year because nothing surprises me anymore. Reuben Abati spoke my mind exactly in his The president’s ‘missing ears’ article of The Guardian of January 4th. Yar’adua’s is fucking uncharismatic and too passive! Having someone like him as our president is like being married to a wife that’s drama free but is boring in bed and in lifestyle. Pathetic!

Employment wise I’m looking forward to getting down to the nitty gritty on my first real job (like many people my age I also wouldn’t mind getting into banking; I’m at a promising recruitment stage on two different fronts so fingers crossed) and the work related networking that’ll come with it. My experiences at two recruitment exercises last year tell me that although I’m not exactly the life of the party I’m damn good with people.

I’m aiming to make real money this year. It’s the only way to go if I want to play my position well. More so it’ll put an end to the quarrels I can’t seem to avoid at home. Real money-great finances should also enable me have a less sober outlook on life, give me the full confidence to look for love and get a much needed fashion boost.

I want to be in tune with the arts in 2008. Attend shows and musicals, make a lot more social outings, master the art of public speaking and write better and more frequent. I also want to bring myself to finally record another song, this time with rock cum ragga vibes.

Physiologically it’s time to do away with laziness by being consistent at my weight lifting; I also look forward to having greater peace of mind by finally going for an HIV test.

Finally as regards to football I just want to see great games all year round. Sadly though I don’t think our making it past the group stages at the African Nation’s Cup is a given this time around.

All in all that’s as far as the weatherman’s guess (my aspirations) goes because no one knows tomorrow. If you can’t take it from me than take it from the French born Nigerian soulful rocker Asa. I wish you a great 2008, peace!

Note: The official list is now out. Almost made 100% on my prediction save that both Richard Eromoigbe and Ifeanyi Emeghara made the squad while Ayila Yusuf didn't.

I’m a keen follower of the Super Eagles, a statement confirmed by the fact that I hardly ever miss their games. I keep records too, a habit that’ll help me speak fanatically in this post. By the way I did some stuff like this last time around.

To me the best thing about Nigeria’s German born coach Berti Vogts is the frequency with which we now play friendly games, or games at all for that matter. The second best thing about him is his knack for experimentation and his squad selection style which has so far evened the rift between big and small players. Well I guess that should be expected with any new coach. Under Vogts The Eagles have faired thus:

Nigeria vs. Uganda 1-0 (ACN qualifier, 24th March 2007)
Kenya vs. Nigeria 0-1 (B-Grade Friendly, 27th May 2007)
Uganda vs. Nigeria 2-1 (ACN qualifier, 2nd June, 2007)
Niger vs. Nigeria 1-3 (ACN qualifier, 17th June, 2007)
Macedonia vs. Nigeria 0-0 (Friendly, 22nd August 2007)
Nigeria vs. Lesotho 2-0 (ACN qualifier, 8th September 2007)
Mexico vs. Nigeria 2-2 (Friendly, 14th October 2007)
Nigeria vs. Australia 0-1 (Friendly, 17th November 2007)
Switzerland vs. Nigeria 0-1 (Friendly, 20th November 2007)

Vogts is expected to release the official list for next month’s African Cup of Nations (ACN) by the 2nd week of December, but being everyone’s favourite neighbourhood dope man I though I’d let you guys in on the future.

My list is logically drawn from an analysis of the players that have earned caps under Vogts. It’s largely the same squad that Nigeria took to Egypt 2006. There are only 9 new players out of which 2: Yakubu and Olafinjana are not exactly new. Such consistency in squad selection hasn’t been witnessed before in the past 4 African Cup of Nations.

Goal Keepers

Austin Ejide A long time Eagles reserve keeper who hasn’t seen any action apart from the pre World Cup 2002 build up games, under Vogts Ejide’s time has finally arrived. He looks good to be the goal keeping first choice and possibly will be donning the number 1 jersey this time around. He’s a veteran of two ACNs: 2004 and 2006.

Dele Aiyenugba Prior to Vogts Greg Etafia and Rotimi Sunday were often the benefactors of the absence of The Eagles goal keeping regular. But under Vogts Aiyenugba has become the new back up man. He’s been to one ACN before the 2006 edition and will most likely don the number 12 jersey in Ghana.

Vincent Enyeama Erstwhile Eagles first choice goal keeper Enyeama has failed to see any action in a green shirt after letting in 4 goals in the last Eagles game prior to Vogts. A game in which Vogts watched from the stands! But his experience and skill is not in doubt and he’ll definitely make the squad as goal keeping third choice if like England’s David James he can swallow his pride. A veteran of the 2004 and 2006 ACNs Vincent looks good for a two digit jersey number in Ghana: 23, the same Ghana who with a gift of 4 goals earlier in the year are a team he’d surely love to hate.

Defenders

Joseph Yobo The Eagles stand in captain has missed the last 6 games but being a consistent performer he looks likely to grab his starting number 2 shirt in Ghana. He played at the 2002, 2004 and 2006 ACNs.

Taye Taiwo The Eagles dependable left back with a knack for scoring goals is a sure first team starter. He’d be holding on to the number 3 jersey he wore at the 2006 ACN.

Danny Shittu Big and Bulky Shittu’s the new craze in central defence after having won Vogts heart. He’ll be pairing Yobo in Ghana donning his coveted number 6 jersey. He has no previous ACN experience.

Rabiu Afolabi Under Vogts Afolabi has finally made the transition from youth International to Senior Team international. He’s paired Shittu in most of the Eagles’ recent games but looks set to drop to the bench at Ghana where he’ll slug it out with Obinna Nwaneri for central defence vacancies. He also has no previous ACN experience but he should be with the number 5 jersey in Ghana.

Obinna Nwaneri The Rugged man of the team looks set to continue from where he stopped in Egypt as a central or right back defensive sub wearing the number 21 jersey.

Onyekachi Apam is following in the foot steps of his youth colleagues like Taiwo, Mikel, Kaita, and Ogbuke who became regulars or had stints in The Eagles. Sporting the number 16 jersey he won’t likely play a major role in Ghana. He too has no previous ACN experience.

Richard Eromoigbe or Ifeanyi Emeghara The final defensive slot will be taken by either of the two. They both might be ACN greenhorns but they’re capable of playing a variety of defensive roles. Either of the two will be with the number 22 shirt in Ghana.

Midfielders

Seyi Olafinjana Makes a return to the team after missing out on the 2006 ACN. He takes back the number 14 jersey which he wore at the 2004 edition.

Ayila Yusuf Seems to have lost his luck of exciting and scoring goals from his defensive midfield position. He gets back his ACN 2006 number 13 jersey but will have to justify a starting place this time around.

Onyekachi Okonkwo Another favoured son of Vogts but who can be both equally disappointing and excellent. Continuing in the same manner and with his inherited number 10 jersey he’ll probably get some playing time in what should be his first ACN.

Dickson Etuhu A late arrival to the Eagles but who has probably done enough in Vogts’ books to win a place in the squad he should be sporting the number 15 jersey in what should be his first ACN.

John Obi Mikel A darling of the Nigerian fans his place in Ghana was never in doubt. But what use Vogts will put him to and his change of shirt number to 18 is open for debate. He’s previously been at the 2006 ACN.

Attackers

Nwankwo Kanu The experienced hand with 9 lives will be going to his 5th ACN in a row in Ghana but this time as Captain. Still donning the number 4 jersey he’s expected to lead the Eagles beyond the 3rd position this time around.

Obafemi Martins The Eagles own weapon of mass destruction might not be guaranteed a starting number 9 shirt In Ghana but his place as a core member of the team in a 2nd ACN running is not in doubt.

John Utaka Aptly christened Utaka the attacking attacker the number 7 sporting ball juggler is expected to improve on his 2004 and 2006 ACN performances in Ghana.

Osaze Odemwingie Another darling of the Nigerian fans, now sports the number 11 jersey but is still as sharp as ever and has great hopes thrust upon him in Ghana. He was also at the 2004 and 2006 ACNs.

Yakubu Aiyegbeni Has one of the most topsy-turvy Super Eagles career in recent times. But stays relevant due to his club goal scoring luck which has more than a few times rubbed off on him in a green shirt. He gets the number 8 jersey along with a chance to do what he could not do in the 2002 and 2004 ACNs.

Stephen Ayodele Makinwa Unanimously hated by fans but loved by coaches he makes a return to the ACN (with the number 19 jersey) which he first experienced in 2006. With the plethora of strikers in the squad we can’t but wait to see what role he’ll play in Ghana.

Ikechukwu Uche Is the Youngman with the blessings of the fans at the moment. Quick on his toes and exciting in a green shirt he’s the 2007/2008 edition of Julius Aghahowa at his prime. Not surprisingly he’ll be with the number 17 shirt at what will be his first ACN.

Obinna Nsofor Another great ball juggler with youth on his side gets the chance to build on his 2006 ACN baptism but this time donning the number 20 jersey.

Those who didn’t make it

Right back Chidi Ordiah and midfielder Christian Obodo are the players that will be most missed in the squad no thanks to the lengthy span of their injuries this year. While midfielder Paul Obiefule will be the player most hurt about not making the squad. He’s been very consistent “on the bench” in the past 10 or so Eagle’s games but getting the chance to play only once or twice during the period.

I’ve known Fishé online for ages and since he sent me this album via courier I’ve had it on constant replays on my playlist. Fishé (Pronounced FEE-SHAY) whose real name is Andrew Mosheshe was born over 25 years ago in the small German county of Fulda; raised in Warri a town in his home country of Nigeria and now living in the United States since 2004. Fishé, the son of a doctor and a teacher, who read English and Literary Studies from Delta State University Abraka, can thus be rightfully said to transcend continental boundaries. Armed with a unique and instantly identifiable Nigerian accent, and not phased by his botched one year deal with L.A based indie label Random Records Inc. on which he released his 2005 six track “Moment of Truth” E.P, Fishé is out with his follow up: "Straight Outta Africa"!

Album Details

Original Release Date: May 2007

Number of Discs: 1

Format: Explicit Lyrics

Label: Fishé Music

Production: Don Perinion, Knoxz, RoTone, Hendog, Peter Lindahl, Alexis Isbell, the Apprentice and Tone.E.See.

Guest appearances: Paige Rasmussen, Miss Keke, Sinister XL, Double Negative, Write Words, Kess, Knoxz, Mad Sabre, Younger Angel, Oboi and Nat Kendall.

Track list:
1. Intro (alphabetical slaughter)
2. Git sum (featuring Paige Rasmussen)
3. How come (featuring Knoxz, Mad Sabre, Younger Angel and Oboi)
4. Africa (featuring Paige Rasmussen)
5. Party (featuring Paige Rasmussen)
6. Away from home (featuring Write Words)
7. Ladies (featuring Miss Keke)
8. Move it (featuring Paige Rasmussen)
9. Skit (voicemail)
10. Cali (featuring Sinister XL and Double Negative)
11. Hip-hop 101
12. In da building (featuring Paige Rasmussen)
13. Fight the power
14. Naija (featuring kess)
15. What’cha gonna do
16. Outro (featuring Nat Kendall)

Favourite tracks: my favourite track on the album is unarguably “”africa”. I also feel “what cha gonna do” and “move it” big time. On the title track “africa”, we’re led on a musical journey to the acknowledgement of the beauty that is the continent of Africa to dispelling the false notion of Africa only being a backward entity to reiterating the wrongs that were the days of early western colonization and the slave markets that came with it. At the end of the song we get to hear the name drop of great African/black leaders and heroes that’ll undoubtedly instill pride in any listening African ear and unbridled admiration from non-Africans. “what cha gonna do” is basically an expression of Fishé bragging right as one of the best Nigerian rappers in diaspora. Starting with a typical Nigerian chant and drum beat the songs is lovely all through and can’t fail to get one dancing lightly. “move it” has the melodic Paige Rasmussen on the hook a partnership which also worked well on “africa”. It’s a typical bounceable song, with lyrics to boost the artiste’s ego and beats to get people moving it on the dance floor.

Criticism: The much I can say is that the album becomes really nice after frequent listens but it could be better so as to make it an instant attraction. If it had more Nigerian flavour it’ll be sure to do better in the Nigerian market. Fishé’s flow is very tight, and his straight Nigerian accent is actually a very good and unique thing considering that we’re in a world of fakers. All in all I’m moved to agree with him that he’s one of the best on display and every line he spits makes me wanna press on replay.

I also guess I agree with the album’s official release statement: “"straight outta africa" comprises the original essence of Hip-Hop’s foundation, from the super-lyrical, to using it as an ample tool for the spread of knowledge and awareness, to just something to have fun with and vibe to in the clubs or in the comfort of your home or ride.” The diversity of this work is set on display with UK Grime track “how come” to the G-Funk sound of the track “cali”. You can also get that Southern Crunk flavor from the track “ladies”, a dose of Afro Hip Hop on the song “naija” as well as the regular east coast feel and an occasional flash of dancehall raga. This variety with a spice of everything else and laced with a couple of conscious joints stems from the use of producers from all across the regions of the United States to the shores of the U.K to Nigeria itself.

Rating: My rating for the LP on a scale of 5 is 3.5

Sample: Listen to “africa (featuring Paige Rasmussen)”

Links: More info on the album available at www.fishe.us and http://myspace.com/fishemusic

Contact info: email: afroshady@hotmail.com, fishadys_bck@yahoo.com or afroshady@yahoo.co.uk

Note: This post is used for the purpose of cultivating interest in the featured musician. It is more of a promotional tool rather than an illegal file sharing means. However, if you are an artist or a label represented here and you would like your music removed let me know and it will come down immediately.

My brain’s a mansion, expanding like pews/
I feed it with good stuff, try not to abuse/
From people’s reaction, I’m filing its views/
So give me the action and I’ll give you its news/

Ok I’m done rhyming. I’ve been up to a lot lately…J-O-B scheming. And it has occurred to me that oil money has spoilt Nigeria and Nigerians silly. Entrepreneurial wise we’re not making much progress and are instead content to wait it out for the monthly oil revenue. Our civil service is lazy as depicted in their creed: “government work no dey finish”, leaving one puzzled as to how they would fare if government establishment were responsible for a larger part of their own funding. In the end a lot of people climb up the social ladder courtesy of the “oil money” and a lot of others are happy or have no option but to be their faithful dependants.

Still keeping to the article’s theme I’ve done more than is usual traveling in the past 7 weeks. I was in Lagos last month for a job aptitude test. And first of all I’ll like to say the company’s crazy for calling us up for the test a bare 36 hours to the event. The stress I had to go through to get there and the disorientation of the test venue speaks volume of the sufferings of Nigerian graduate job seekers. My impressions away from the test is that Lagos is one rugged city and it’s traffic and congestion problems are two reasons that makes me wish myself away from it as a place of abode. The trip was actually my first visit to Lagos in 8 years! And courtesy of many a blogger’s rant I was scared and equally cautious. All in all Lagos was worth it as I enjoyed the journey through the South West; a welcomed difference indeed after being saturated with the South East and North Central for far too long.

After Lagos I made a return to Gboko in Benue State as a member of a four man crew called Art IMPACT Productions whose hustle included video recording, editing and production; conducting interviews, handling customer relations and marketing for the 3 week duration of the 2007 Batch A Orientation camp program. Had an overdose of nostalgia there being that a year earlier I was having some of the best times of my NYSC life there. At Gboko I got the much sought after job experience; ate humility, diligence and dedication for breakfast, lunch and dinner and learnt many a business truths. My Gboko sojourn was invaluable…priceless, but for everything else there’s MasterCard.

November 1st 2007, with a camcorder doing what I had to do as part of my biz hustle in Gboko

The traveling ended with a trip to Jos over the weekend. Also a first time journey and this time around for the purpose of writing one of them Bank job aptitude test which are very popular with fresh Nigerian graduates. Jos is a town with an unNigerian kind of weather but it’s ok. I had a nice time there and I came back with one truth: “practice makes perfect”!

It was the Great Nigerian novelist Chukwuemeka Ike who over 15 years ago wrote the book “our children are coming!” about the generation gap war between the young and their middle class parents. Borrowing a leaf from him I’d like to say in this commentary that in contemporary times children/youths of my age are not just coming, they are running! They’re in one too many instances in too much of a hurry to fill up their parents’/the elders’ shoes.

Almost every day I hear talk by youths of the likes of: “our leaders have messed things up for us, we have to set things right”. Not bad per se, but coming from the young and the restless, people who are hardly good managers in small quantities, talk less of If they are entrusted with major figures it becomes saddening and one can’t help it but weep for the future of the nation. It’s almost like another case of the prodigal son being in too much of a hurry to get his entitlements/inheritance from his father. What follows are four points to ponder on the topic.

1) Why the rush? You get in early; become a leader at 37, 8 years later you're done, what next?

2) The elders might have messed up here and there but believe you me they didn't spend their 50 plus years on earth moping about like sitting ducks doing nothing. Wisdom in different quantities and spheres has surely being accumulated all the while and as such they’re more than capable reference points for the youths. As the saying goes “there are certain things that an elder can see sitting down that a young man can't see even if standing up.

3) Older people tend to be better leaders because they are experienced. They’ve been there and done that; have got that understanding and therefore tend to be more rational in their thoughts, words and actions. Having been in all types of shoes before they’re better equipped to walk the legs, carry others along and best satisfy each person. Needless time that would have been wasted on familiarization is thus saved. look at it this way: at the time of your first crush/relationship at say 16 you probably felt you've found your soul mate and that you were ready for the world, but now that you're in your mid-twenties you can't help but confess that you didn't know shit back then and then thank your lucky star that you didn't become a teenage father.

4) We should be patient and wait for our turn. Youth agitation is sort of like the entry level worker scheming for his boss' job thinking that with his 1st class degree he could surely do better than his boss who has a 2nd class lower degree and 10 years of work experience under his belt.

Don’t get me wrong though I’m all for youth empowerment, it’s just that I want it done with the right mind set.

Ignorant hot blooded Biafran youths ready for war. Our children are indeed running.

I must confess that I’ve always wanted to do this (a blow by blow account of a music show) ever since I read thisday music festival october 7th & 8th, 2006 and RHYTHM UNPLUGGED Lagos: THE REVIEW...a must read. I hope this rocks and if it doesn’t you’d be entitled to a refund of the 10 minutes of your life you’re about to spend reading this.

The show which held on the 8th of September (2007) at the Ladi Kwali hall of the Sheraton Hotel Abuja was put together by the Wetin Dey? organizers. Wetin Dey? a 30 minutes television drama with HIV awareness and prevention as its main theme is itself sponsored by the BBC World Service Trust.

I took the original notes for this post with my Nokia…1100! It’s crazy the shit we learn to manage so well with. Unfortunately I have no pictures of the event to share. I didn’t have a device to make that possible and the digital camera of the chick I sat with wasn’t recharged enough.

On the lucky side I got a seat at the front row, which definitely is the best seat at shows from a “fan”atic perspective. With it comes the privilege of seeing the artists up, close and personal with all the energy or lack of it they bring to their act. You also get to touch them if they ever deal out handshakes. Although I didn’t bother about that second bit because I was feeling kind of reserved at the night.

The show which was a mixture of music, fashion, talk and drama started at about 6.25pm as against the original commencement time of 4pm, which meant arriving late because I completed watching the 3pm Super Eagles game counted for nothing. If music is my beloved son, football is its twin.

The MC for the show was one of the Wetin Dey? actresses. If you follow the drama you’d recognize her as the wife of the policeman. She did a nice job; humour and class combined in one. The co-sponsors of the show did theirs too by providing free HIV counseling and testing in front of the event venue; though I doubt that a lot of people took advantage of that. Talking about people the attendance was over 100% and incident free. Kind of expected though considering the fact that the audience was a representation of the crème de la crème of the posh/ajebotas Abuja youths.

The performance roaster for the event was almost endless with the artists scheduled to come on stage in the order of their level of success/establishment in the industry. You might disagree with the listing but I think they got it pretty right. And being that the acts were much and time wasn’t the deal was that it was to be more or less a song per act. Despite that they were expected (and they did) to throw a line or two about protection against HIV during their piece.

After several upcoming acts had come and gone it was Noree the non rhyming but sweet “baby no dey lie” ABJ crooner’s turn. I thought he’d perform his “baby no dey lie” song and wow the crowd but the brother had a new song premiere plan instead. The highlight of his performance was this amusing incident which I suspect was rehearsed. Midway into his act a guy ran on stage to embrace him kneeling down (I guess that’s a forgivable lapse on the part of the bouncers as they generally did a good job of protecting the artists on stage) and Nore gave the guy his copy of the show’s invitation card, after which the guy did the sign of the cross as if he’d just been blessed by a reverend father and then left the stage.

Seun the sweet voiced gospel artist and FUTH Minna graduate was next. I don’t really know the name of his song he did but what the heck, I love all his songs! For me he killed it but judging by the relative indifference of the hall he’s got to work on his publicity.

Of all the upcoming (and hitherto unknown to me) artists on parade I felt this swagger heavy guy the most. I didn’t get his name but the rap song had the “she go say I be lady” part of Fela’s “lady” continuously looped as the chorus. Ingenious! His hypeman was what made his act thick though. The dude was fat as fuck but displayed dance moves from several genres much to the delight of the crowd.

When they were gone the DJ spinned Olu Maintain’s “yahoozee” and it got the hall crazy with everyone doing the yahoozee dance. I must say the DJ was great on the night, some others would say he’s much better than the over hyped Jimmy Jatt

The yahoozee frenzy didn’t last for long as Uche a gospel rock artist (rock artists in Nigeria are endangered species) was due to do her thing. Her song rocked! Pun intended; reminds me of Evanescence’s “bring me to life”. And the chorus is in…wait for it, Igbo! She’s also a dancer and a medical practitioner. Not bad but what was with all the dancing on stage, that’s not what rock is about. I could have sworn she attended UNN or UNEC; someone like her was a regular feature at school shows…that’s without the rock part though.

When she was done Bemsar the guitar man came on to do his “something good” gospel song. It left me feeling Godly. There was a drama sketch afterwards that featured a few of the Wetin Dey? cast. It was written by an HIV positive guy, evidence of the fact that testing positive doesn’t mean one’s career goal is done for. There were other breaks where speakers came to talk on HIV related issues, particularly of note was one cute dreads wearing chick. Damn the virus.

Age Beeka came through after the talk. He did some new songs from his forth coming album and as usual brought the whole gyrating on stage thing to his act.

And things could only get better as MI came on after him. The phrase “short but mighty” aptly fits the Chocolate City rapper! He was the first act of the night to have the crowd literarily eating out of the palm of his hands. He talked to the crowd about himself, his music and the circumstances that led to the writing of the two songs he performed: a narrative love song and his conscious intelligent “crowd mentality” hit.

The first part of the fashion parade was then rolled out featuring male and female models. The second part and wrap up came later on in the course of the show. It was my first catwalk live viewing. Nice moves I must say and excellent work with the wrappers, or is it ankara that it’s called? Ladies help me out; the designer was a cutie too.

Terry Tha Rapman subsequently came on with AT as his hypeman (AT had earlier on did his own solo, an R&B cover of an American rap song, thumbs down bro). Sadly Terry’s performance on the night was as poor as his dressing. His on stage carriage was weak and he made “na beans” and “only for Naija” look like dumb songs.

Sixfootplus the Abuja based hip hop veteran was next. Though I personally feel he has passed his prime he had a great performance and the crowd loved him. AT made his 3rd appearance on stage as Six’s hypeman. If OD was there too for his “don’t hate” hit I would have puked as AT would have made it a record 4th time on stage. Six had the some Tiv dancers on for “swange” from his 1999 album and then wrapped things up with the more current “e don do me”. The sing along chorus value of both songs really enhanced his performance.

After him was 2shotz (With MI of all people as his hypeman! I’m guessing that was an impromptu arrangement) and true to pun rules his performance was too short. He worked the whole hall into a frenzy and then left almost as soon as he came in. Sort of like getting mami wet with the foreplay thing only to slip out before the big O under the pretext of meeting up with wifey for dinner.

Sasha was next. By this time with each act the audience crowded around the stage cheering on, some others taking pictures with their phones and digital cameras and hustling for space with the professional photographers and video camera men. I might not really be into her but I admit she was good, the crowd showed her love particularly 3 boys who were drooling at her through out her time on stage.

Shit was progressively getting bigger, it was Modenine’s turn. Sage came on first to do a spoken word intro. I couldn’t appreciate his poetry, probably because the noise levels were by now high in anticipation of Modo. Poetry done with it was time for rap; Modo stepped out with Kraft tagging along. He was thoroughly mobbed as almost all the young core hip hop lovers rushed towards the stage. It was the first time that more than half of the audience was up on their feet, I had to stand up too else I see nothing. He did “cry”, “Nigerian girls”, “Lagos state of mind” and his verse on “stylee” (Modo displaying his new found Lagos love in front of his original ABJ people was…queer) with the crowd rapping along with him word for word. I admit this made me really happy; it’s what hip hop is about from a fan’s perspective and it’s good to see this happening in Nigeria and to our own artists. But what was with Modo’s cap, he was switching its position like every single minute. He should have just thrown the damn thing to the audience like top acts do. More than a handful of the crowd were half expecting him to do so.

One hit wonder Weird MC (she solely got rich off “ijoya” and the feature on P-Square “bizzy body remix”. I must slap myself for still harbouring hustler ambitions) wrapped up the show. She came in with the P-Square intro, you could have thought P-Square were in the house. I must give it to her though as she bettered Modenine by getting the whole hall standing. She did her “bizzy body” lines, some other nothing-extraordinary songs of hers and then the big hit: “ijoya”. She might be a small woman but she packs more than her fair share of energy as she covered all corners of the stage and even the crowd stands. The show ended well after 10pm.