One birth and two funerals


The anniversary of Jesus’ birth has just been celebrated, someone I knew recently answered God’s call and my mum’s funeral is been organized. The burial ceremony has been fixed for mid-January in the villa.

Last contact with mums was on the phone two days to her demise and in the flesh about seven weeks before d-day. I cried when I saw the body…all swollen with the face hardly recognizable. It’s excruciating thinking of how her final moments were. My mum always was an extremely careful driver and a conservative vehicle owner; it’s ironical that she died in a car crash. The experience sure has made me extra aware of the losing a parent/your parents reality.

I’m some how tired of all the talk that I have to do…or that is done during condolence visits. I wonder how the village talk is going to be like…you know speaking Igbo and ish. The condolence visits can be quite inconveniencing when they're long. At times I wish people would just tone down on the outward expression of sorrow, give gifts and be gone. But I don’t blame them though, I understand that they’re just trying to show that they’re touched by our loss and their hearts are with us.

I hate the fact that a lot of money is about to be spent. Why can’t we just keep ish simple? It still would be befitting. Damn the flamboyant African ceremony culture…it’s quite annoying considering the fact that I’m a young man still trying to find his feet and in need of money to get started independently. Them ceremonies (weddings, title takings, burials, festivals) are really nice though…especially when you ain’t footing the bill unwillingly.

I’ve discovered that I’m not in love with events planning (especially the financial aspect) as much as I thought I was. Managing people ain’t as easy as it appears. Responsibility is an eye opener…Amodu, Onigbinde, Chukwu, Eguavoen and Siasia are waste pipes. Ok, talk is cheap; go get management baptism with a high school football team first. It’s a humbler. Also organizing on an unfamiliar terrain will pose some challenges. I mean, me organizing ish in a village I’m not too familiar with...uhm. God dey, I’ve got a requiem speech/poem to write; be safe!

Black Jesus…Birth, death et al

Comments (16)

It is well dear brother. The closest i ever had to a burial of a family member was when my grandpa died 8 yrs ago. Take heart, january will come and go and you'll be strong and filled with grace to stand and make mamma proud of you!

feel you on all the burial ish but they way i see it, it's just tradition. just understand it has to be done that way

I really don't know what to say, for once I am at a loss of words.

All the best my man.

It's ok to go through all these feelings...but just know that it will be well.
Take Care.

Accept my condolence on the demise of your mum. It is really hard for someone to lose his/her mother.

Please do not be disturbed by all those funeral things going on. It is tradition, and has to be done. I feel you because of your financial helplessness, but then take solace in the fact that everyone understands your plight.

May God give you the grace to bear her loss. Peace to you.

men...growing up i'd always thot the older i got, the easier it'd get to give condolences...but i've realized that it gets harder with time...i really don't know what to i would say much.
i jus pray that God who knows all things gives u strenght in ur tryin times and grants u the fortitude to bear the loss.

It's so sad.

May God grant you the fortitude to bear your loss.

Remember -- it's okay to grieve. Let it all out. It shall be well...

Hi Trae. I sure know the feeling cos I've been there. I ddnt even have the opportunity to seeing my mum's corpse. She was buried while I was away. You've sure been a strong hearted man. Keep being strong man.

Trae,I'm so sorry about your mum,its so sad that she died at the years ending. I pray God wil strenghten you and your family and be your comfort.Take heart

Boy, really sorry to hear about your mum's death. Really sorry, man. It's a pity. Good to see you're taking it like a man. Accept my heartfelt condolences. God dey, and He knows best.

my brother, take heart. all will be well. please accept my condolences.

I was just thinking about you and came to visit your blog after a long long time, only to see that you've lost your mother. My condolences. Be strong.

may God grant you the strength to go through this period.

I understand the whole expenses thing. I hope my time I'd be cremated and my remains spread over some place I'd choose. Don't wanna put no burdens on no one.

Meanwhile, I hope the burial and all that goes with it goes smoothly. I just got back in town yesterday eve.

Hola at u on the other side

peace and love!

Sorry to hear about the death of your mother. Please take heart.

Hi Trae,
Take heart for God gives and He takes. May God give u the fortitude to bear the loss.