Just came back from Benue…hoping to get back into ABJ life, the election fever and blogging (got loads on my mind). But I guess stuff is going to be different now. Lost my mum yesterday…car accident…just finding out…God knows best. I’ll miss you ma…

Edit (20th December, 2006)

I just want to say thanks and God bless to all (online and offline) who commiserated with me on the death of my mum; It sure did mean a lot to me. Her passing away came as a shock to me and I’m still grieving but life ain’t over and I still have to air out this little blog bits which have been in mind for long.

You know how some people think that when you’re born your destiny is already mapped out by God, well I object to that. I think God creates us and gives us the freewill to do as we please. Right or wrong it’s our choice, determined by whom or what influences us. God just sits back and watches the show and intervenes when he wants to or is called upon too. God finishing homework on our fate before hand, I don’t subscribe too…that would probably bore him out.

Still on destiny, I don’t subscribe to the thought that we have only one true life partner and thus won’t get the best out of life except it’s with that person. That’s small mindedness. I believe God gives us the freedom to choose from a range of people who are compatible with us, and all things being equal we can blossom with any of them. This is evident from your past really great relationships; it’s just a pity that they didn’t work. There’s always hope of another for the widow, widower or broken-hearted.

Talk about displeasures and men who give all the attention to the girl (ogle) when both sexes are before them comes to mind. The scene in the Mayor’s office in the film: Barbershop 2 is a good example of this. Yeah I know of the opposite attraction thing but hey this is a meeting of three not a dinner date of two. Such men probably had it tough growing up and thus can’t win girls fair and square without the use of the executive shine.

Ironic instances: lepa (slim) girls who fuss over food. "TRAE you’re lazy, you ain’t doing enough work…TRAE all you do is eat…TRAE don’t finish the food oh…TRAE I’m hungry stop disturbing me". Funny thing is unlike Eldee of the Trybesmen I eat well but I ain’t fat, I work hard and enjoy my meal hard; but they work loads yet have little appetites. Quite unfair don’t you think? Anyways there were always wonders in life.

Last word: many “mum” and “missing you” songs exist; the lyrics are often too theatrical but no doubt about it I sure do miss my mum…she went too soon.

Job is done, raising ghetto kids in the hood/
You was my strength to carry on and now I'm good/
Job well done, you live through your sons and your grandchildren/
Jesus finally got his bride, mummy dance with him/… (From the song “dance” by Nas)

I confess that I had serious fears about teaching because save for minor tutoring of friends and relations on different occasions I’m seriously inexperienced in the field. But now I’m more confident, and sadly it’s partly due to the fact that the students I’ll be working with ain’t educationally sound (it won’t be an intellectually challenging job). The general standard of schools where I’m at is low. The students are so knowledge hungry yet so slow on the uptake. They were never given a solid educational foundation; the second-rate training repeats itself in the primary and secondary schools so they end up being merely “learned on paper”. I guess lack of finance is to blame and when one grows up in a community of non eggheads one can never reach his full intelligence potential.

Teaching as I see it is basically explaining what one knows to others. What you give your students they imbibe; you become the Alpha and Omega...students are so manipulatable! Anyways looking back at things now I feel that I could have done a much better job than some of the people who taught me when I was in school.

But talking about the present you should see the way I’m respected here. Good morning sir this, excuse me sir that. It’s all new to me and it’s a really pleasant surprise. Another pleasantry is going to be having a room to myself for the first time in my life! On the unpleasant side is the fact that there’s no strong FM radio or TV signal here! I never taught I’d find myself in such an information poor situation :(. Anyways thank God for compact discs. Hip hop album check: Modenine’s “Pentium ix”, check; Freestyle’s “free at last”, check; OD’s “don’t hate”, check and Pherowshuz’ “House of raps (rap-representaTIVs)”, check. I sure do hope to have a “SOUND” service year :). Nice play on words huh ;)?

And for the really unpleasant: we’re “loosing” a lot of quality bloggers in the Nigerian blogosphere; it pains me a lot. Back in the day it was Teju Cole, Obifromsouthlondon followed suit weeks back and now it’s Sir Aihammed Delot. Because of that let me put you up on some (if you're down with the blog thing). Your blog is meant to complement you and not to stress you. What I’m saying is blog easy and on your own terms. And please don’t put stuff that’s too personal online or stuff that you’ll regret later…especially when you’re not blogging anonymously. The internet has a very good memory you know...Ok class dismissed, i'm out.

To Sir with Love; great book, great film.

My state of mind as I type this is like it is when listening to a goddamn beautiful song from the past. You go back in time to a period so wonderful and unforgettable that you feel like savouring or seizing the moment and putting it in a timeless jar. You shed a tear when you realise that time can never stand still.

Date: 26th September 2006, afternoon hours in Gboko. Benue State Batch B, NYSC Orientation camp closing day. The impressive passing out parade graced by the deputy Governor just ended. Photographers anxious to de-stack are working on the double trying to convince corpers to collect their unclaimed pictures for half the price. All types of buses and taxis with their destination written on cardboard papers and smartly stuck on their windscreens litter the camp ground waiting to convey corpers to their place of primary assignment. Corpers themselves are doing a last minute property check. Bags now stored in a safe place temporarily or strapped on the shoulders everyone proceeds to fall in by number (form lines) one last time to collect primary assignment posting letters.

Excitement is in the air and Jokes on possible postings are sprayed back and forth. Finally the unknown becomes known. There are screams and shouts of joy, unhappy faces and indifferent ones in equal measure. Phone numbers are exchanged and question and answer sessions start all over the place. Suddenly everywhere starts to look like one noisy Jankara market scene. Ironically as I valuably gathered in the next three hours here is to turn into a graveyard. A total contrast to the activity ground it has been for the last three weeks.

The mammy market people and the locals watch us in amazement. Wide eyed like kids deeply engrossed in ant colony observation. Business is effectively over for them, they’ll miss the money but they’ll miss our company more. I find a seat at one of the joints, away from all the madness and I notice the Madam in charge is at the point of tears. Her facial expression is a mixture of fascination and sadness. Fascinated like a student just put through on how to solve a hitherto hard and time consuming maths question and saddened like a newly wedded bride whose husband has just being carted away to join the army.

The saying goes that on this day all three week romances end and all contracts are effectively terminated at the camp gates. I observe a love or lust struck girl following her hunky boyfriend about like a small kid does his mother as he makes his moves to leave the camp. And I shake my head and ponder the wonders of the human hormones. I got involved in a three week old…or two week old relationship as well and later on I’d have a rather formal parting with B. A poor ass one compared to the parting kiss of Chinedu and Joan of Big Brother Nigeria on eviction day.

Corpers bid farewell to each other, friendship crews are dissolved and everyone, the popular and unpopular on camp alike, goes scampering about looking for a ride to help them kick start the next stage of their service year. I munch my buns and gulp down the last bit of my Fanta Orange drink and then I bounce…or literarily hop on the bus. Vex not that it wasn’t the traditional parting whisky shot, I’m drink shy.

The Matrix’s “bullet time” move is the perfect example of time standing still. Brilliant!

I’m sure some of you are familiar with songs and memories. As in when ever you hear some songs it reminds you of certain periods, people or event in your life good and bad. It makes you want to shed a tear or smile. The songs I’m working with now on that level are “obodo” the remix by Nigga Raw, “imagine that” by Styl-Plus and “jogodo” by Professor Linkin. I heard those songs over and over again, like a hundred times each day at the various joints in the Gboko NYSC orientation camp. And I equally bumped my head, tapped my feet, sang along or danced to them like a hundred times (the thing about this kind of scenario is that at times you either get sick of the songs or you grow to like them by force). That says so much about the Gboko DJs’ taste and the variety of jamz they have in stock.

The Nigerian job market is one big fear and challenge for graduates; it fucks with you big time. For the guys as a graduate you’re seen as “promising” so you have it some what easier with the ladies, but it’s not the case when you ain’t earning. You loose taste in chicks because at this stage they’re more of an unwanted expense than a lover/friend/f*ck buddy/friend with benefits. Job wise yours truly has been condemned to teach in Benue. It’ll be good as I’ll get the chance to make an impact in the lives of teenagers and it’ll be a nice life lesson/experience (but I never was low on experience and I believe I’m an all rounder who does a good job of adapting to the posh or hard life extremes). But career wise it ain’t shit and it’s more like a one year waste.

In that light self-employment really is the way to go. It’s all about having a winning idea and adequate funding. But it’ll require patience, intelligence and hard work. Me I want to be on that ish, the “your own boss” levels. With that mindset it bothers me when I see people my age or slightly older than me still in school (early college years), still content to be largely dependent on their parents, and flaunting about living the extravagant life when they didn’t personally work for most of what they’re enjoying…E don do, pens down. Right about now the “in memory of the money” song will start playing. Can you hear it?

I spent the better part of September in Benue state and as others before me (one of whom was Uche Nworah, he served in the same state thirteen years ago) I’m glad to say it was one of the best three weeks of my life. Some of you guys were all AIDS and HIV before I left but all I can say is I had me some good pounded yam…but over there they do produce an awful lot of coffins though.

The orientation exercise held at the Government Secondary School Gboko and I won’t be far from the truth if I said I enjoyed every single moment. Yep: the drills (jogging, marching, field exercise, endurance trek and military lifestyle), the snapping of random pictures, the social events (cooking, dancing, shows, football, volleyball, cultural dance and drama), the lectures, the mammy market chillings, the registration and allawee line hustles, the early morning wakes, the Gboko youth business sense; damn that was the life. I participated actively in camp and in my platoon activities. In fact I was sort of a busybody…in a good sort of way though. I read my platoon’s morning meditation (if you consider the fact that we had ten platoons of about one hundred and sixty five corpers each it’s something to be proud of) and I acted in my second drama ever, getting what you could call a standing ovation. Dude my platoon rocked, it’s a pity that the divisions for the rest of the service year is all about LGAs (Local Government Areas) and zones.

In the past three years I’ve never gone more than five days without accessing the internet but in Gboko I spent three weeks offline with only occasional newspaper reads for info and I didn’t feel like I was missing much! Mixture wise for every two female corpers there were three male corpers; the Yorubas dominated and some Muslim chicks with their hijab on 24-7 was something else. But we all had fun, shit felt like one Nigeria. I’ve never made so many friends or met so many “correct chicks” in such a small space of time like I did in my Gboko stay. And it was easy because every one was in a friendly state of mind. For the guys if you couldn’t step your game up during that period than believe you me you’ll never be able to do so anytime or anywhere else!

Upon leaving the camp the Batch A corpers in Ukum LGA (where I was posted to for my primary assignment) transported, housed, fed and guided us on our next moves. That was pure love right there, especially as we were no better than illegal immigrants who just came into new land at that time. It’s a favour I’ll never forget. Now that the camp is over I wonder how I’ll spend the next eleven months in Zaki-Biam (the town made headlines in 2001 for its massacre by the Nigerian army). Anyways if Mandela is still breathing after twenty seven years in prison then I guess all will be well with me.

Holding the NYSC flag on Mount Mkar (destination of our endurance trek), 21st September, 2006

Technically I’ve not yet made my exit but by Tuesday September 5th I should be off to the Benue State orientation camp for my one year youth service (National Youth Service Corp-NYSC 2006 Batch B).

A while back I used to be excited about the service thing. I had done my home work on what to expect and I was more than ready to go. But now I’m kind of far from enthusiastic. Minus the three weeks orientation camp fun, the shakara you get to do with your khaki and the little privilege and respect bestowed on you as a corper the scheme is basically a continuation of your suffering while in the university. (NYSC = Now Your Suffering Continues). Especially for us guys. We’re to spend one year working our butts off while collecting peanuts as salaries. The word “cheap labour” comes to mind right?

Anyways I’ve learnt that it’s all in the mind so I’ll try and proceed with a positive spirit. Hope to get to know more about the country, contribute my own part to nation building, make some new friends, grab some happy hours and make that money. I don’t know how the cyber situation will be in camp so I can’t say if I’ll still be regular online. But while i'm away you know the drill: say your prayers, brush your teeth and keep the peace ;). By the way where’re the good people of Benue State at? You know the number, holla at your boy.

My bro who'll also be serving designed this website www.nyscbida.5u.com for NYSC Bida zone (Niger state). Check, check, check it out. I don waka, peace!

Hey Beyoncé, wanna sleep in my T-shirt? My dad owns Nasir Yakubu Shipping Company you know :)

When life fails you be sure that your football team will follow suit. Famous words made known to me by Mr Soccer for Suckers. But now I’m experiencing a pain of another kind; the pain of seeing your favourite player being gradually phased out from your national team. In my case Julius Aghahowa being the player and the Super Eagles of Nigeria being the team. Aghahowa’s name wasn’t included in the team list for the Nigeria-Niger Ghana2008 Nations Cup qualifier to be played in Abuja on September 2nd. Coach Eguavoen doesn’t seem to like him or to be political correct thinks his time is up. But this is made all the more painful by the fact that Obafemi Martins has been getting an undeserved starting shirt in the last few games the Eagles have played. I know that it’s the normal sequence for most players (You know there’s always a time to rise and shine and a time to bow out. At your peak you’re boy-wonder but than months or years down the line you’re doing a lot of training but no playing and it goes down hill from there) but I just can’t seem to get over it. I’ve loved Aghahowa since his Nigeria’99 days; he grew on me probably because he dons my favourite number: 17. But no doubt about it the guy delivers. No other Eagle since let’s say 2000 has made a career out of scoring when it matters and scoring really crucial goals! Evidence abounds: the Nigeria-Senegal game in 2000, the Nigeria-Sweden game in 2002, and the Nigeria-Gabon game in 2005 to name but a few. That’s why he’ll be remembered for years to come.

By the way big ups to our Under-20 girls doing us proud at the ongoing FIFA tournament in Russia. The last minute win against Canada was sweet! Beautiful goals, beautiful and feminine girls for a change, plaited hair which allowed ease of play, “youthful looks”…what else can I say? Bring the damn cup home girls!

This article by Aba Boy and the comment flow in it between Chxta and Errata motivated me to go on this roll. Minus the fact that we speak the same language with the US and England (thus we’re more in each others business) our large population of over 120 million people is the other major reason that adds to our being easily victimised (given a bad name) as a nation.

Let me break it down for you. A large population = a greater chance of a richer economy = more importance on a global scale = foreign influx and citizen out flux = more international media local headquarters = more news time = more bad press. I mean when last did you hear a story about Equatorial Guinea? There’s more: as a parent when are you more likely to get a call to report to the station that your child is in police custody; when you have two kids or when you have seven kids? When you have seven. You guess correctly.

But it’s a pity that as Nigerians ourselves we’ve allowed the negativity to possess us. I saw a C-class celebrity, a guy from the Star Trek Talent Hunt Show performing on TV with a live band. I was naturally happy for him but I was gob smacked when I realised he was a Fela wannabe doing some Nigeria-bad-this-our-leaders-corrupt-that rhymeless, uninspiring singing. Don’t get me wrong he’s free to do that and he’s speaking the truth to an extent but when it reaches a level that you hit out at the nation solely to blow up and to score cheap points as being a conscious artist then something’s wrong. In the same vein when one makes a career out of seeing only the negative than something must also be wrong. A bad story, oh goody-goody something to blog about, a good story oh boring not blog worthy. I know a few bloggers like that. They’re good but too damn one-sided. I eat up their shit light heartedly and balance it with other info if not I’ll end up a pessimist.

We’re nearing election time in Nigeria. And so in the spirit of the season I’ve drawn up a list, made up of people who to the best of my knowledge have declared for the presidency, those I think are serious contenders for the presidency and those who in my opinion are worthy to hold the highest office in the land. The analysis and opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone and are based on what I know about the people in my list. The criteria I used in ranking are 1) charisma, 2) eloquence, 3) intellect, 4) accomplishment, 5) political experience, and 6) election success possibilities. The ranking is in descending order of worthiness and voting possibilities. By voting possibilities I mean the chances of me casting a vote for them at the polls. Yep I voted in the 2003 elections. On that note let’s rumble!

D = Declared. Those who have declared their intention to run for the presidency
ND = Not Declared. Those who have not declared their intention to run for the presidency
WVF = Won’t Vote For. Those that you won’t catch me voting for

1 – Nasir El Rufai (ND)
Presently the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, El Rufai has done very well in office and has made Abuja a much better and orderly place to live in. Although in the course of his work he has also rendered thousands homeless and jobless, something his opponents are quick to point out. But in a place like Nigeria an attempt to restore order unavoidable means you’ll step on toes and make some unfortunate people suffer. All in all the man is intelligent, hardworking and eloquent and would make a really good president. Besides he’s familiar in political circles and in the media so he’s good to go.

2 - Dora Akunyili (ND)
Presently the Director General of NAFDAC (National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control) Dora Akunyili is a blessing to the nation and a wonderful worker indeed. Rendering the magic she did in NAFDAC to the whole nation would be fantastic. No doubt about it she’s presently the most popular female in the country; she’s brave, bold, upright, intelligent, a feminist’ dream come true and indeed a great material for the presidency.

3- Donald Duke (ND)
Presently the Governor of Cross River State the Youngman is charming but more importantly has done an excellent job in his state environmentally and tourism wise. Donald Duke has a sort of clean slate and has not involved himself in the religious or North-South bullshit that possesses a lot of Nigerian politicians. Of the thirty six governors in the country he’s most suited to the presidency in my opinion.

4 – Orji Uzor Kalu (D)
For reasons best known to President Obasanjo, Governor of Abia State: Orji Uzor Kalu has been seriously victimized in the life of this administration and I’m really bought over by his courage. In these days of EFCC swoop if he’s really bad why then has he not being brought down. Take nothing away from him the man has done well in office scoring major points in sports (football) promotion and has good business acumen. He’s one of the major Ndigbo leaders and the most realistic option for Igbo presidency. But unfortunately outside of the South East he might struggle for votes.

5 - Peter Odili (D)
If you’re talking of Governors in the good books of the president, Peter Odili Governor of Rivers state will be amongst the first names. He’s in the media a lot and seems to have done well in office. But some other people will tell you that the phrase “all that glitters is not gold” aptly applies to him. Nonetheless in these days of pro South-South presidency he’s the forefront contender.

6 – Buba Marwa (D)
Retired Brigadier-General Buba Marwa who hails from the North but did very well as Military Administrator (in the military years. Equivalent to Governor) of Lagos State is one to be taken serious with in the presidential race. Presently an astute businessman (although it seems he benefited from the years of military financial misrule) he’ll make a really good consensus candidate. If he gets the blessings of the kingmakers he could really sweep the polls.

7 - Jerry Gana (D)
Before Femi Fani-kayode and Frank Nweke Junior there was Jerry Gana. The man who people say is a Chameleon has survived many administrations as a high political office holder. Presently he proclaims he’s born again and uses it as one of the core points of his campaign. Personally i'd say he’s not such a bad choice for president and as a Northern Christian who is popular in the media he stands quite a good chance at the polls.

8 - Pat Utomi (D)
Pat Utomi is the Director of the Lagos business school and one of the heads in Nigerian economic circles. But me thinks he’s dull, lacks charisma and is the greatest enemy to his own current affairs TV program: Patito’s Gang. He shouldn’t dream politics and is better off continuing in his present career. But if you go by opinions in the other school of thought he’s a gem whose brains is needed in the administration of the country.

9- Chris Okotie (D)
The greatest if not only quality of Reverend Chris Okotie is that he’s a man of God and so will rule the country in a God fearing and upright way. But his opponents say he’s more of a businessman then a pastor. Currently and in the near future he has no realistic hope (especially in the Muslim North who might be uncomfortable with him) of being president but he relentlessly pursues his goal (he stood for the elections in 2003).

10 - Rochas Okorocha (D)
The only thing that can be said about Rochas Okorocha is that he’s a Youngman with money to spend. His campaign strategy is centered on the fact that he’s a philanthropist (which is in no doubt). Maybe if elected the national cake will be distributed more evenly and the poor would get a better share.

11 – Abubakar Atiku (D, WVF)
Abubakar Atiku is the current Vice President but unfortunately is not in good terms with the President. Thus he faces an uphill task in his quest to step into his boss’ shoes. He’s also receiving heat from some section of the public who seem to hate him. In my opinion much of the hate is unjustifiable. But on his part he made little use of his opportunity as Vice President achievement-wise. His only notable accomplishment to date is that he was anti-third term and thus gave a lot of people courage to oppose Obasanjo’s sinister moves. He won’t likely run on the platform of the PDP and he won’t likely win on the platform of any other party.

12- Ahmed Sani Yerima (D, WVF)
Ahmed Sani Yerima is the Governor of Zamfara State and the foremost crusader for the Sharia legal system in Nigeria. An attribute which has made him the most Popular (popular as in everyone knows him) Governor from the North. There’s little else to say about him except that his presidential ambition will not be fruitful because he’ll get little or no support from the South.

13 – Bashir Tofa (D, WVF)
Bashir Tofa was M.K.O. Abiola’s opponent in the June 12 1993 presidential elections. Not much has been heard from him since then. And I don’t know where he suddenly woke up from but I think it’s in his best interest (financially) if he goes back to sleep.

14 – Muhammadu Buhari (WVF)
Retired Major General Muhammadu Buhari is a former Head of State whose years in power were not at all wonderful. He’s also a known hardcore Muslim, an aspect which will work seriously against him in the South. He contested against the incumbent President in the 2003 elections, using the late Chuba Okadigbo (his running mate) as back up to see to his dreams. Personally I think he should quit bitching about his defeat and do something else with his life. He’s not worthy to be president at all

15 – Ibrahim Babangida (WVF)
Retired General Ibrahim Babangida a.k.a Maradona or The Evil Genius is a former head of state that’s famous for annulling the results of the June 12 1993 presidential elections. To this day he has refused to apologize or explain his actions and is thus unforgivable. A man who calls off a widely free and fair electoral process has no moral right to stand for elections in another one. Besides when he was in power he didn’t do much. His only friends in the media and in the public are the sycophants and the easily gullible and I don’t think he’ll declare for the presidency as a lot of people say he will.

Who rules the country come 2007? Your guess is as good as mine.

Extra: An animation inspired by this post.

You must have heard about The Vatican, Neverland and the Kalakuta Republic. But it’s time to forget them all. Today I present to you the Cassava Republic…sorry I mean the Cocoyam Republic. It’s the land of the Wondering Wanderers nonetheless it’s not a place; it’s a state of mind. On this maiden tour of the Cocoyam Republic we’ll be exploring the issues of Orientation, Power shift and what to do when your company sucks.

I’ve always wanted to talk about this issue but the time was never right, but now it is. I’m really annoyed that no one ever took time out to orientate a brother, teach a kid a few things. In primary school quiet as I was I was always drafted into the debate team or one group or another. Little man as at then didn’t wholly grasp the relevance of a debate. Torturous as it was I went through all them stuff to make people happy. In my senior secondary years the words on people’s lips were JAMB UME and priesthood. Didn’t know what the heck JAMB UME was about nor did I understand the next line of action in the other lane: priesthood. How then did they expect a Youngman to have a purpose in life? I got to know the koko about JAMB UME in my final year and I’m still learning about the priesthood path. On to the university nobody properly schooled me on the course registration system or the result computation bureaucratic dynamics. Had to learn from my mistakes and some of them sure were costly. Sex education; forget it. The first time I heard the word sex from my parents was after secondary school when my Pops told me that I should be careful, because now if I "touched" a girl I could get her pregnant. Looking at all this someone might say I should not have been shy, that I should have asked questions and that way people would not have made assumptions. But my brother in this country children are to be seen and not heard. It’s not as easy as it seems. Presently most of the stuff I know is because I’m naturally inquisitive. The Internet has done a lot to feed my brain. People please take two and pass (teach someone). Life’s too short already; don’t make it worse for someone by letting them live in ignorance (ignorance which they’ll grow up to regret).

In these sharing of the national cake and rotational presidency days I wonder what’s up with hardcore power shift people. Don’t get me wrong power shift is a good thing; it lets a country get the best of both worlds at different times and it makes everyone happy. If fighting for South East presidency or for governorship to come to the North Central zone of a state it’s ok with me if you’re fighting because you know you’ve got a suitable leader to lead the country/state. But in reality most people are not fighting because they feel they’ve got the right leader, they’re fighting because they want a share of the national cake. Well politics is a dirty game so I guess it’s all good. But the part that really sucks is when I see a common man who has no links with any politician (Such that if an Hausa man, or a man from his town or Fidel Castro comes into power life will still be the same for him, he’ll still collect the same old poor salary) raising his voice and arguing loudly for power to come to a man from his place. Well what can I say, Nigerians love to talk politics.

Have you ever been in a situation where you know that the company you work for sucks? And to make it successful some staff would have to be done away with and fresh minds recruited. But the thing is that you’re in good terms with those that you think should be sacked and you wouldn’t want to see them out of their jobs. Plus when you go out and your company is being talked about on reflex you defend it/prop it. But in your heart you know the company sucks and that your competitors are way ahead of the game. Worse still you wish you were working elsewhere but you can’t leave because you’ve got no where to go. Ever been in such a situation? What did you do or what would you do?

The Cocoyam Republic...it’s all in the mind baby, it’s all in the mind.

Where are the Northern Nigerian intellectuals? The question came to mind after reading two articles from The Nigerian Village Square; which by the way is an excellent site. Someone might argue that the south controls the press and so the North is suppressed but what about the internet? It’s supposed to be no mans land but surprisingly of the blogs, forums and Nigerian portals I read input from people of Northern extraction is often minimal. Even a look at the Nigerian diaspora in Europe and Northern America suggest that numbers from the north are but a handful. Or could it be that since the North is predominantly Muslim they prefer the Arab countries? Or maybe it’s the simple mathematics that since they’re less literate there are subsequently less intellectuals? I might be going up North in a few weeks’ times so maybe I’ll find out for myself.

In light of the fact that a number of the Nigerian bloggers I read recently spoke on religion I’m seizing the opportunity to say my own religious bit. If one was born a Christian he’d love Christianity and think it’s the one true religion. If born a Muslim he’d love Islam and think it’s only way to go. Likewise if born a pagan like in the days of our forefathers he’d love his gods and think that’s the shit. Crazy ain’t it? But bro the fact is that religion is like college fraternities. You join and subsequently follow the rules of whichever you choose. All have unity in mind, all worship the same God and all have their various highs and lows. In fact the biggest bad of religion is that all claim to be un-contradictory and perfect as a way of life when in fact none is perfect. Don’t get me started on the imperfections, Google is your friend. The funny thing is as much as they have contradictions we still need ‘em. So do your thing people; for me I’ll most likely be found in the Catholic Church.

When it comes to male-female stuff it’s often the guy that initiates the topic for discussion and then both get chatting (especially when they’re at the getting to know each other stage). But there’s room for exception, we love a girl who keeps us captivated, listening, laughing and going with her flow. In fact I really hate it when a girl calls me and has nothing to say; you know expecting me to dictate the flow. Bitch you called, speak to me, stop making me look like a jerk, I’m not Dave Chapelle you know, I don’t get paid to talk. Wallahi such stuff makes me want to decree that if you ain’t calling me about money (money coming to me, if you’re a guy) or sex (if you’re a girl) then don’t bother calling me.

Perfection can only be found in football, music, pictures…things of that sort ;)